The Legends would like to say goodbye to spring and welcome back the snow. Fratzatoni Phil didn't see his shadow this year on Webster Ave., which means that spring was only going to last for two weeks. Oh well, at least we can reference the mean snowplow driver from "Snow Day" again. And again.
The snow sparked winter memories for The Legends, including sword fights on the squash courts, multiple poster dunks on Katz and hits in the face with a field hockey ball (Hi Kelly Hood '12). The Legends realized, though, that their main winter project (seeing if Mario Tennis skills translate to the hard court) was not yet completed. So, The Legends contacted the women's tennis team in search of completing Project Screen-to-Stadium. The Legends, who never wait, didn't receive a response for five business days. After filing a formal protest with the NCAA titled "How come these girls won't talk to us?!?," Sarah Leonard '13 and Shelley Carpeni '12 stepped up. Leonard e-mailed the two Legends, "Look, you didn't have to get the NCAA involved, now I have to play left handed for a week. We'll hang out with you guys. Meet us at the courts on Monday at 3 p.m."
Sarah Leonard, a freshman from Norwalk, Conn., not to be confused with Norway, World, attended Laurel Springs School in California, not to be confused with Californication, starring David Duchovny. Leonard refused to reveal to The Legends why, as a kid born and raised in the Northeast, she attended school in California. Her only answer was "Google it." We did. It's an online school based in California because, while she planned on staying in the Northeast for high school and college, she "always wanted to go to school online in California." She also figured it would be a great icebreaker during her DOC trip. It was. Legendary. She chose Dartmouth because Blitzmail allowed her to keep in touch with Laurel Springs e-lumni, including Hayden Pannetierre, Kristen Stewart and Ned from Ned's Declassified.
Shelley Meigs Meredith Carpeni was born on January 9, 1989 (two days before Ludlow!!). She currently calls "The City" home, but briefly moved to England when the dollar began to decline (1.515 : 1). Bloody brilliant. While focusing primarily on tennis and piano, Carpeni is also an avid Harry Potter enthusiast. On her 11th birthday, Carpeni was devastated when her mailbox only had Highlights and Zoo Books, but no letter from Hogwarts. Carpeni eventually traded in her wand (tree branch) for a tennis racket, and the rest is history (Not History of Magic, though). After winning the European Championship and becoming known as the Duchess of the Drop Shot, she decided she needed to become the first Women's Tennis President and left for college in America.
The Legends arrived at Thompson courts and got right into an 8-game pro-set. Katz lined up on the forehand side, and Ludlow quickly screamed, "Dude, me? Backhands! No!" The Legends adjusted just in time for Leonard's first-serve, but it was too late! Ace. Katz called his shot, net and the game slipped away, 1-0. The still-sniffly Katz toed the line and unleashed Rocket Power serves, 15-0, 30-0, 40-0. Game: 1-1. The D-I athletes were stunned, and Ludlow was even surprised with Katz's athletic prowess, but Katz shrugged and said, "Mario Tennis. That's proof!" Carpeni stepped up to serve and befuddled the Legends with her heavy spins and heavy accent, 2-1. Ludlow doesn't know how to serve, 3-1. Leonard stepped up to serve again, but this time the Legends were ready and got a few points, 4-1. Crap. Katz stepped up to serve again and, like Dennis Quaid in The Rookie, still had more juice, 4-2. Let's go! Ludlow finally didn't whiff, 4-3. With the match getting awkwardly competitive, the ladies brought out their much more complicated hand signals and took the next three games, 7-3. The Legends, though, had faith in Katz's unbreakable serve and looked to grab the crucial 11th game. But like Henry Rollengardner's pitching in Rookie of the Year, Katz's gift of Roddick-fast serves was short lived, and he couldn't find the service box in the final game, 8-3. (Maybe he choked too. Shh.)
The Legends would like to thank Carpeni and Leonard for coming out on a rainy day to play tennis with some D-I enthusiasts. We are gracious that they gave us that glimmer of hope at victory, but then took it from us right quick. The women's tennis season has come to a close, but sports never end, training never stops and Legends never sleep. Ask Ludlow, he's exhausted. And until next week, remember that only you can prevent frat fires.
