I am afraid of 2008 celebrity style. While ordinarily I would be first on line to trade places with them, stylistically speaking, this year not so much. Go to E! Online and look at the dresses actresses wore on the Screen Actors Guild Awards red carpet, and you'll see what I'm talking about. It seemed like every star missed the mark in their dresses: the boxy faux boho gowns, wannabe ethereal smocks and the little black dresses gone astray. Especially having seen the gorgeous spring Paris couture collections that just concluded (look up Valentino's last collection of his 45-year career some time), I am disappointed in our movie stars. Where did glamour go? What happened to the flawless fits of yesteryear?
Fashion rules are made to be broken (I wore black tights under my new red and black flannel shorts with a pair of flats), but to be honest, when walking the red carpet or trying to impress your formal date, leave experimentation at home. Here are a few highlights -- lowlights, really -- from the SAG's. Think color and fit the next time you pick a dress for that formal, and I promise you will look fabulous!
Ellen Page
I saw Juno. I saw the eponymous character's rebellious clothes. I then saw Ellen Page and her attempt at the SAG's to look classy and mature. And I also saw it fail miserably. The best part of her entire outfit was her hairstyle. Ms. Page decided to don a jet black, knee-length dress from Zac Posen, complete with cap sleeves and a V-neckline. I typically like Posen's flirty dresses, but let's be serious. Of all the dresses to choose, why pick one that's so plain? Plus, with such an incredibly fair complexion, the black simply washes her out. I suppose a positive aspect of this dress is the cinched waist. But disaster steps in with the cap sleeves; too much fabric near that slim face, and presto -- the dress looks like it's wearing her. A general tip for anyone with porcelain skin: go for a rich color, like a jewel tone, which will bring out more warmth and elegance and won't contrast so harshly like black. Wednesday Addams, anyone?
Ms. Page, you were so close on this one; had you chosen a different color and different neckline -- a sweetheart, perhaps? -- it would've been a winner. Bravo for a job well done in Juno. We'll see how the Oscars go.
Angelina Jolie
She's a digitized babe in Beowulf, a preppy princess in The Good Shepherd and a gorgeous femme fatale in Original Sin. In all three of these movies, the costume directors got it right; Ms. Jolie has a gorgeous body that should always be flaunted in sexy cinched-waists or low cut bodices. But for some reason, this year the actress wore a caftan-like vintage Hermes gown in an ombre whose colors were, of all things, a combination of bland brown, gray and black, reminiscent of a rainy winter day in Hanover. The only good part of this dress is the neckline; remember, a sweetheart neck flatters everyone, no matter what the bust size. The tent silhouette did nothing to squelch rumors of another addition to the Brangelina clan. But did Angelina not see how Heidi Klum dressed on Project Runway last season?
Amanda Bynes
First off, I had forgotten why Ms. Bynes would be at the SAG's this year, but then recalled her role in the movie Hairspray. No matter the role, though, her dress at this year's SAG's was a blue bohemian blunder. Its Grecian-inspired bodice and straight silhouette did nothing to flatter her body; in fact, she looked like a walking bolt of fabric. The empire waist, as usual, makes her look somewhat pregnant. To pull off an empire waist, the underlying fabric must show the body's shape with a flat pleat, which this dress was sorely missing. Another horrific flaw was the tiered skirt and uneven hemline, leaving Ms. Bynes looking like she had wrapped herself up in curtains from her living room at home. Darling, leave decorating to the interior designers; judging by your dress, I would never want to trade spaces with you.
