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College President Phil Hanlon lives a tough life. With his roles as a college administrator, prominent mathematician and side gig as an Alpha Delta legend in the flesh, our president has a lot on his plate. With President’s Day upon us, it’s time, we, as students, took some time out of our own lives to honor our dear leader. We cannot, of course, reach the levels of academic rigor that he espouses, nor can we achieve temperance of the sort he would like, but in his shadow we can grow to become the study beasts of PH77’s dreams.
With 17W coming to a close, many of us will (hopefully) be taking off for destinations where we can actually see the sun and, even better, expose parts of our bodies that we barely remember could be exposed to those warm rays. Underneath the layers of Canada Goose jackets and long underwear lives a person who once knew what it was like to be tan, skinnier and not sleep deprived. But alas, unless you're a gym rat, winter bodies don’t translate into year-round beach bodies. With only three weeks left in the term, you’re going to have to do a quick turnaround if you don’t want to scare people away with your paleness and obvious consumption of KAF baguettes when you hit the beach this year. Here are a few quick changes you can make to your everyday life to make sure you're Instagram and warm weather ready (read: any climate at or above 50 degrees).
Nicole Salet here with a comprehensive guide on finding out just about everything you need to know about that cutie you’ve got a crush on. Will this article be weird or creepy? Yes. Will that really stop you from using these tools? Let’s be real, no.
’19: “Playing shrub is like playing Quidditch with only two hoops.”’20 #1: “He just kept trying to kiss me over and over again”’20 #2: “Like a perpetual motion machine toward your face”’19 (Post-Super Bowl): "I tried to kick him out last night, but you can't remove someone from a three-person group message."’20: “Do you NOT know the term wall star?”
Due to popular demand, Dartbeat has revamped our weekly coverage of Campus Blotter. What better way to kick things off than exploiting shenanigans from Winter Carnival 2017?
It was quite the magical Big Weekend for 17W. Whether you had one too many (butter)beers or someone hit you with a Forgetfulness Charm (Obliviate!), there's a good chance you may not remember some of the questionable texts you sent. Luckily (or unluckily), Dartbeat has proven once again that the internet is forever and no Vanishing Charm can save you. Without further ado, we present: the best "Texts from Last Night" from Winter Carnival.
Winter Carnival is over and it’s become painfully clear that it took all motivation on campus with it. I’m left with a lot of work and nothing to look forward to, so I’m choosing to deal with my problems through passionate and vehement denial. These are just a few ways I plan to relive Winter Carnival until 17W ends, and I strongly encourage you to join me.
It’s Week 7, your midterms are looking a little grim, you keep falling asleep during your 10 and you’re starting to wonder why you ever thought higher education was worth it in the first place. Winter Carnival emails about Harry Potter aren’t helping, and suddenly you’re daydreaming about living it up with Harry at Hogwarts, learning how to fly on broomsticks and turn rats yellow (or trying to, anyway).
At Hogwarts, as at any school of magic or liberal arts college, people divide each other. Now, this may be good or ill — and if you’re in the latter camp, I suggest you get on your hippogriff and begin the proletarian revolution posthaste — but social organization remains a basic human practice.
Given the theme of this year's Winter Carnival, you might have been hoping to snag some new Harry Potter accessories for your flair box. Unfortunately, you didn't win the (nonexistent) drawing for a $72 Deathly Hallow's necklace and you can't buy any new costumes because your Gringotts vault is out of DA$H. So, in celebration of Witchcraft, Blizzardry and being broke, here are some Pinterest-worthy (not really) ideas to help you make the most of what you’ve already got.
Dartmouth and Hogwarts share quite a few striking similarities — house communities, storied traditions and isolated locales play large roles in the culture of each institution. However, although Dartmouth and Hogwarts students know how to knock back a cold (Butter)beer, Hogwarts lacks an integral part of the Dartmouth experience: First-Year Trips. Given Hogwarts’ close proximity to the Forbidden Forest, young witches and wizards should get the opportunity to explore the wilderness the way incoming Dartmouth freshmen do every August. Here are some trips options for Hogwarts first-years interested in immersing themselves in nature:
It can be hard being a freshman. Just look at them: so innocent, so soft, so silly. And Dartmouth can be a big, confusing place. The ’20s seem to live in a constant state of “the look on Will Ferrell’s face when Buddy the Elf first gets to New York City in the classic Christmas film ‘Elf.’”
With midterms coming at us full force, the stress on campus is palpable. Everyone has resorted to sweatpants, and the smallest things that don’t go your way may very well be the beginning of a spiral down to a deep dark place of failure. Here are a few #relatable Dartmouth things that probably stress you out even though they undoubtedly shouldn’t.
CS prof: "You said ‘Vertices A, J, I’ – I heard ‘Vertices B, J, I’ oops I have a mind of my own."'20 #1: “Happy Chinese New Year!”'20 #2: “I can’t believe the Chinese time zone is 28 days behind.”
Puppies in sweaters. Enough said.Rush crushes. You went to Peru? I WENT TO PERU!Semi dates. Invite someone who you semi-like.Study Abroad Apps. “But are they due at 12 a.m. or 11:59 p.m.??”New memes. Recent political events have inspired a plethora of questionable yet creative content.Natural skating rink on the Green. Causing students to slip and plummet since 1769. Nature is beautiful.Invertebrates. #nospine
With applications piling in, Dartmouth students of all grades have been testing their luck and hoping that they’ll be able to escape Hanover and study abroad. Whether you're an eager ’20 or an upperclassman who has had this idea in mind for a while, leaving the U.S. (or just the state of New Hampshire) is as exciting as it gets.
Whether you like it or not, the GroupMe messaging app is an integral part of the Dartmouth experience. It somehow has all your contacts and lets you get in touch with almost everyone on campus, so naturally it’s a go-to for the groups that don’t necessarily need your digits. The number of chats you’re in is directly proportional to your social capital, since with more involvement comes more GroupMes. And while everyone’s experience with GroupMe is unique, there are common themes that unite all typical Dartmouth students.
Everyone has their preferred study spots in the library, some more productive than others. However, Dartmouth students are often quick to label First Floor Berry as the most facetimey (and least productive) place in the library.
Recently inspired by Donald Trump’s use of ~alternative facts~, Dartbeat has compiled a list of alternative facts at Dartmouth. These are totally true, not at all false and completely factual statements about our magical life in warm, sunny Hanover. #fact