The Cornell Chronicle
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The Cornell Chronicle
I was especially excited to write my Dartbeat story for this week after receiving my assignment from my editors. Grace’s exact words to me were this: “Ask the Rauner librarian to show you the coolest shit they have.” Following her eloquently stated orders, I did just that (though using a slightly more polite phrase, of course).
Turtlenecks: “Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day.”- Mitch Hedberg
After you’ve read the stall street journal once or twice though, you really begin to yearn for a more interesting read. Here’s what the Stall Street Journal would say in a perfect world:
Originally, the campus-wide snowball fight occurred during the first snowfall of the year. Unfortunately, winterim threw a wrench into this plan and so far the snow conditions have not progressed to snowball throwing levels. I know this because I threw a snowball at a girl yesterday (not to brag) but it fell apart mid-air before she was aware of what happened. So look forward to this event sometime in the near future where the snow acts less like cold sand and more like snow.
Cover photos are changing, bad puns are being made, and “what you know” is being thrown. It’s women’s rush season again at Dartmouth, and whether you’re affiliated (rad), unaffiliated (rad), rushing (rad), not rushing (rad), shaking out (rad) or a dude safely removed from this process (also fine, I guess), I think we can all agree that GLOS sorority rush takes a ton of time.
Cornell: Cornell University seeks to establish a new College of Business to be launched at the start of the next academic year. It will consist of programs from the School of Hotel Administration, the Charles H. Dyson School of Applied Economics and Management and the Johnson Graduate School of Management. It will include 145 research faculty members and 2,900 undergraduate, professional and graduate students. Although Cornell seeks to unify its business programs, the schools will not change operations and each school will still maintain its unique identity.
The life of a frat dog can be taxing; From enduring the near constant attention of strangers to starring in endless Snapchat Stories, these pups have been escalated to a new level of notoriety. For those wishing to capitalize on this newfound fame, here are 10 tips for improving your social media page.
I drove down Main Street in the rain and the fog, the windshield wipers of my 2004 Subaru Baja beating frantically to keep pace with nature’s onslaught. My tires held onto the rocky pavement for dear life through several inches of standing water as I navigated the road’s twists and turns. I was almost there — my heart pounding in anticipation of a good meal, my stomach growling, my mind focused on the task at hand. There. In the distance. Could it be? A strip mall that I knew to be my destination loomed in the distance. It was go time.
Odds are you stick this snowball down your pants?
Herding:That fence isn’t subtle at all, Dartmouth.
COSC professor: “I could never have gotten into Dartmouth as a student, but I can be a professor.”
Welcome back, frostbitten kittens. Whether you spent your winterim watching four seasons of the West Wing on Netflix (like me), training lemurs in Antananarivo or getting hired and skiing down the abs of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (like everyone else I’ve talked to since being back), you probably also took a break from your more fabulous pursuits to pick up a couple of things for the holidays.
With Dartmouth’s winterim lasting an entire six weeks, most students create grand plans of productivity, fun activities and lofty goals. Despite our current ambitions, things don’t always go exactly as anticipated. With that said, Dartbeat has read your mind and also gazed into the future to create a week-by-week summary of what you plan to do for the winter break versus what actually happens. Week 1
It’s finally sophomore summer — the term we’ve all been looking forward to since day one of freshman fall. Each of us has our own expectations of what this term would be like for quite some while. But your plans for this summer are probably a bit different from what you told your parents— aren’t they?
This past week was my first week on the job, and my internship could not have started out on a sweeter note. At 9 a.m. on my very first day, I was treated to a box full of donuts! I normally am not the biggest fan of donuts — I think them as an especially heavy, unhealthy treat. Even on special occasions, I don’t go out of my way to seek out a custard-filled chocolate éclair (my favorite) or a jelly donut (my second favorite). There are lighter donuts to choose from to be fair, and I always have room for a good ol’ glazed donut. But this morning, at 9 am, I was confronted with a true dilemma. Who eats donuts, let alone at such an hour? Not I. But who can turn down a donut on Day One? Not I…
I would like to begin with the observation that the “FoCo Challenge” is a complete misnomer. When I was tasked with examining this Dartmouth tradition, I thought of it as a challenge in the usual sense —an activity that a person must strive to overcome with some great physical, mental or emotional strength. In short, I thought of it in the same way that I thought of running a four-minute mile, writing the greatest collection of sonnets in the English language or passing Econ 20. I have done none of these things. Zero. But now that I have remained in FoCo for an entire day and stuffed my face with several meals for the price of one, I can tell you that there is no possible way it is equivalent to these feats. Of course, not all agree with me. Some say completing the FoCo challenge makes you a fiscally responsible hero. Others say it involves unfairly duping the College out of two meal swipes and should be banned, or at the very least frowned upon. Me? Well, I chose to ignore my questionable moral compass and sedentary lifestyle and imagine that I’m now a Dartmouth legend for having completed the challenge. If you’re still unconvinced, here are some highlights of my mind-numbingly uneventful Sunday in FoCo:
Icy Sidewalks: Don’t worry, nobody just saw you slip.
Brown University: Karla Kaun, assistant professor of neuroscience at Brown University, has obtained a three-year grant worth $300,000 for her work on alcohol and memory studies, the Brown Daily Herald reports. Supported by the grant, which was awarded by the Smith Family Awards Program for Excellence in Biomedical Research, Kaun will study fruit flies’ propensity for alcohol with the intention of discovering treatment methods for alcohol addiction.