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Dartmouth in Graphs

(02/23/16 1:00pm)

When someone says "graphs," the first thing that comes to mind is probably plotting lab results and analyzing Econ trends for class. Let’s be honest, the only graph at Dartmouth that actually relates to your own life is the Dartmouth X. But there are so many other important aspects of Dartmouth culture that deserve to be plotted, and fortunately, Dartbeat has come up with a few graphs of our own:

10 Alternatives to "Alcohol Blanket"

(02/19/16 10:35am)

Dartmouth is cold. Really cold. Which makes going out on weekends a little challenging. Sometimes it’s simply not enough to zip up our frackets and cross our fingers. Despite being completely inadvisable, sometimes we turn to our trusty red solo cups to keep warmin Hanover'ssubarctic temperatures. While drinking does not actually warm you up, alcohol does cause your blood vessels to dilate, shifting blood flow to the skin’s surface. This added “insulation” has been called “liquid warmth” or “alcohol blanket,” but these terms have gotten a little hackneyed (read: annoying AF). So we’re offering up some other suggestions to term the heat that pre-games really provide:

10 Best Websites To Buy Flair

(02/18/16 12:41pm)

There’s no better way of getting your hands on flair than through the old tradition of flair bequests (please don’t take these away, too, @admin) or simply happening upon an amazing piece at Goodwill. But, let’s be real, we’ve all had those *panic* moments just before semi, tails or themed parties when we just cannot find appropriate flair to wear. Luckily, Dartbeat has compiled a top ten list of the only websites you’ll ever need for buying any and all types of flair:

Texts From Last Night: Winter Carnival Edition

(02/15/16 1:13pm)

Technology is a wonderful thing. So is alcohol. And when you put the two together, you get the often disastrous (but always hilarious) product that is drunk texting. This Winter Carnival, there may not have been Tackiez, Lingerie or Champagne, but that didn’t stop us from sending incoherent texts to our friends, family, exes and crushes. So while you’re sitting in Baker nursing a hangover or cramming the midterm paper you forgot about, take a break and read Dartbeat’s very own TFLN: Winter Carnival Edition:

Dartmouth Faculty and Staff On Dating

(02/12/16 2:47pm)

February 14 is the second most polarizing day of the year (after Mincemeat Day on October 26). If you’re single, you loathe it with a passion, wear all black and hide in the shadows of your twin bed with your blinds closed. If you’re in a relationship, you carry roses and chocolate around with you, go out to a nice meal with your significant other and revel in the disgusting perfection that is your love life. And if you’re hooking up with someone on and off, you look forward to the possibility of a casual booty call or text or emoji or whatever the kids are doing nowadays.

The Types of People On College Tours

(02/11/16 6:14pm)

We’ve all been there: You’re considering applying early decision to Dartmouth and your parents drag you to Hanover one (very) cold weekend for a tour of campus. You finish the info session and make your way outside for the tour. Your potential tour guides announce their graduation years and majors, and say something they think is funny (it probably isn’t that funny). You choose the government major minoring in art history because she’s smart and serious, but also looks like if she was locked in a room with fun, she’d find it, eventually.

Overheards: Winter Carnival (1939) Edition

(02/09/16 5:38pm)

Few students know that famed author F. Scott Fitzgerald came to Winter Carnival in 1939 and was so inebriated that he was kicked out of Hanover. What even fewer students know is that the reason he was here in the first place was to do research for a screenplay he and Budd Schulberg ’36 were working on. The movie, titled “Winter Carnival”, was subsequently filmed and released in 1939, though ultimately F. Scott Fitzgerald was not given a credit in the film (rumor has it he become very difficult to work with). It may be for the best that his name wasn’t attached to the film, because the movie is not good. The New York Times wrote that it was one of the worst films of 1939, and time has not been friendly to it either. Earlier this week, I rented the film from the Jones Media Center and selected some of my favorite quotes—or “overheards”—from the movie:

Foco Superfoods

(02/09/16 1:00pm)

Foco has and always will be a Dartmouth dining enigma. Every time I walk out of Foco, I somehow leave more confused than I was walking in: Why is the froyo machine still broken? What exactly is in the vegan pizza? But the strangest of Foco offerings—the Foco “superfoods”—go largely unnoticed by most meal-swiping students (Hey, 19s!). Most believe that these superfoods, located right above the salad dressings, have amazing nutritional benefits. But how do they taste? This week, Dartbeat took to the test to find out:

Beyond the Bubble: A New Pope

(02/05/16 12:07pm)

Okay, so obviously there isn’t actually a new pope. That was a stupid joke combining my name with “hope.” This article has nothing to do with the Catholic Church, its leadership or any allegories written by Oxford dons lambasting its values and practices (Although did you hear they’re making a miniseries of the “His Dark Materials” trilogy? Isn’t that wildly exciting? No? Just me? Okay). So here’s what this post is actually about: Living in New York City—the City That Never Apples, The Big Sleep—has given me a different perspective on life at Dartmouth. Now that I am “beyond the bubble,” things up at school just don’t seem quite as, well, important.

Dartmouth Horoscopes

(02/04/16 3:51pm)

I know that astrology is controversial, but most of us have at least peeked at our horoscopes online or in an issue of Cosmopolitan (hahaha, I made a joke). We’ve all been asked what our star signs are, and we’ve all had to endure being sorted into yet another box: Wow, so unpredictable, as per usual, Gemini! Or, in my case: Jeez, you’re such a Cancer! (Make of my Zodiac sign what you will, but I think I’m generally pretty tolerable.)

7 Reasons Why Women Have Totally Ruined Dartmouth

(02/03/16 6:18pm)

Amidst all of the plights and struggles of today’s student body in the wake of the “Moving Dartmouth Forward” initiative, we should not forget why the administration chose to changeeverything in the first place: Dartmouth’s decision to open education to women in the 1970s. It seems obvious that the matriculation of women, beginning in the fall of 1972, has sent the College downhill in so many ways, causing thepatriarchy old traditions to fail.

Liveblogging Dartmouth Hockey vs. Quinnipiac: A Fan’s-Eye Perspective

(02/02/16 11:00am)

Although I know next to nothing about hockey, I was sent on assignment by my editors to liveblog my experience at the Dartmouth Men’s Hockey game against Quinnipiac last Friday. I was to give a "fan’s-eye perspective" of what was going on (I am using a very loose definition of “fan”). Over the course of two and half hours there was cheering, singing, booing and cursing. Basically, how all sporting events should be. Here’s a minute-by-minute rundown of the major goings-on at Thompson Arena's student section: