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(06/23/16 6:25pm)
As the great philosopher Nelly foretold in A.D. 2002, "It’s getting hot in herre [sic], so take off all your clothes." And with the rising temperatures, 16X is full of reasons to de-robe, from visiting the river, copper mines and ledges for swimming, to hiking for the sake of taking that adorable and totally original picture of you topless and staring into the wilderness below, to streaking finals and other classic forms of Dartmouth buffoonery.
(05/27/16 11:17am)
Well, ladies and gentlemen, you made it. You, the graduating Class of 2016, are about to enter the terrifying world the rest of us have been screwing up for quite some time now. Don’t listen to the people who tell you the Middle East is imploding, the migrant crisis is unsolvable or the economy is on the verge of crumbling again. (Those people worry too much.) Instead, hold your head high and embrace your imminent enslavement to the market, corporate overlords and student debt. Want to know almost no one, work your ass off for scraps and be responsible for paying for absolutely everything? Whether you answer “yes” or “no,” it doesn’t matter—the future is inevitable, and there is nothing you can do to stop it from screwing you where the sun don’t shine.
(05/27/16 10:55am)
"It’s so funny how everyone’s totally comfortable telling people they have food poisoning, and everyone pretty much knows what they’re talking about, but no one can ever just say they have diarrhea." This observation came around week two of the term, when roughly two-thirds of our group had fallen at the hands (fins? hooves?) of meat purchased from open-air markets. (Europe, you invented refrigeration. Use it.) However, as the term went on, I found it became a particularly apt metaphor for my experience abroad as a whole. Stick with me.
(05/27/16 6:52am)
If you’re a '16, graduation is probably on your mind whether you like it or not. And if you’re a ’19 like me, you’re still reeling from how fast this year has gone by. Regardless, many of you have questions about graduation, so naturally youturn to Google for advice and emotional support.
(05/26/16 6:29pm)
[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0_dUi34B0c&feature=youtu.be[/embed]
(05/26/16 11:00am)
Ahhh, streaking. Dartmouth has a weird obsession with it that I’ve never quite understood. The idea of public nudity is incredibly unappealing to me for a lot of reasons, but some people around here seem to love it. I would guess that they think it’s liberating? Maybe they like the feel of air in places that don’t usually see the light of day? Or the adrenaline rush that comes with the fear of being arrested? Maybe they just want a tan? I don’t know. To me, running around naked just seems like a jiggly mess. But regardless of how anyone on this campus feels about streaking, one thing is for certain: as the end of spring term approaches, the probability of seeing someone in the nude increases exponentially.
(05/25/16 6:33pm)
Formal flitzes: That moment before you press “send” – arguably the most stressful event of the term.
(05/25/16 6:26pm)
’17: “I made out with this chick at the Green Key concert. I thought I knew her and asked if she was an ’18. She said, 'Yeah, I’m 18.’”
(05/25/16 9:59am)
From Block Party to Cash Cash to BrewHaHa, Green Key was jam-packed with music, food and, of course, injuries. While the concerts and lawn parties may be over, some bruises (and flash tats) are ~forever.~
(05/24/16 1:43pm)
This won't bethe first (or the last) post we make about GreenKey this year. (We live for this stuff, okay?) And that's because every year, Dartmouth students walk out of Green Key smarter, wiser and with less kidney function than the year before. Here's what we learned fromthis year's Green Key weekend:
(05/24/16 12:16pm)
Life at Dartmouth can be hard, what with the harsh winters, D-Plan and limited social scene working against you. “Dear Lone Pining,” Dartbeat’s premier student advice column, is here to help! Anonymously submit your questions here, and our lifestyle expert Lone Pining will help tackle your problems. Here’s what Lone Pining had to say this week:
(05/24/16 10:04am)
The new season of ABC’s “The Bachelorette” will soonbe in full swing, with a fresh new crop of men (lone) pining for JoJo’s heart. Meanwhile, the rest of us mere mortals will becooped up in the stacks, trying to recover from a marathon of a weekend. #RIPGreenKey
(05/23/16 5:53pm)
We all know the motto for spring term’s big weekend: “Green Key is a marathon, not a sprint.” If you’re reading this, that means you made it to the finish line (unless you’re a ghost, in which case, whoa that’s dope). It was a weekend filled with alums, sunshine, EDM and a whole lot of MDF approved alcohol. But most importantly, it was the weekend for drunk texting. And just like we do every year, Dartbeat has compiled the Green Key texts you wish you could forget:
(05/19/16 6:54am)
This weekend, the Green Key performers are sure to be great — but the people in the crowd will probably be more entertaining. Some students have been preparing for this weekend since the Sunday of last year’s Green Key, and other students are actually townies with hilariously bad, fake Dartmouth IDs. Here are some of the people you’ll see at this weekend’s concerts. Where do you fit in?
(05/18/16 5:45pm)
’18:"Oh my god, that pisses me off so much I think I might have to make a Facebook post about it."
(05/18/16 4:06pm)
Green Key Weekend: MYGreen Key Weekend: BODYGreen Key Weekend: ISGreen Key Weekend: READY
(05/18/16 2:31pm)
Dartmouth students generally live in fear of some non-specific illness fondly referred to as "The Plague." But this term, the threat has become all too real as illnesses with actual names have made their way to Dartmouth. It all started with the mumps, which shook the student body to its core. (It doesn’t matter that there have been approximately zero confirmed cases on our campus—when someone gets a sore throat, mass hysteria breaks out.) So when pink eye came to campus, people were already pretty riled up.
(05/17/16 4:12pm)
Life at Dartmouth can be hard, what with the harsh winters, D-Plan and limited social scene working against you. “Dear Lone Pining,” Dartbeat’s premier student advice column, is here to help! Anonymously submit your questions here, and our lifestyle expert Lone Pining will help tackle your problems. Here’s what Lone Pining had to say this week:
(05/16/16 11:36am)
With week eight come some difficult choices: you could study for your midterm, or you could sit on the Green. You could write your essay, or you could sit on the Green. You could struggle through room draw, or you could resign yourself to making a home on the Green.
(05/16/16 11:00am)
One night earlier this year, my roommate and I heard a knock on the door. We opened it to find two drunk freshman guys who proceeded to walk into our room, compliment our room décor and sit on our futon. We had a nice conversation for a while and then they left, disappearing back into the night. I have not seen either of them since.
