An Internal Monologue
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An Internal Monologue
A week ago she called me: "So, what's this big party that's going on next weekend then?"
The Mulberry Del Rey: This bag aims to capture Lana Del Rey's retro glamour. Described by creative director Emma Hill as "functional with an uptown twist," the bag has the appearance of structure, but it is apparently still super-soft. Featuring the Mulberry postman's lock on the front but no other fancy bits or pieces, this bag is pared-down and simple — key ingredients for an instant classic.
We tend to be a bit obsessed with the idea of fairness. We want grading to be fair. We want court cases to be fair. We want wealth distribution in America to be fair… or so I hope. However, sometimes we get a bit petty about fairness. For example, I’m currently holding grudges based on a few things: the fact that my younger brother currently has a later curfew than I did in high school; that sophomore spring I had a 9L and my roommate didn’t and thus got to sleep more than I did; that once in middle school where my brother ate the last Nutter Butter cookie. However, there are issues of fairness in our everyday life that necessitate further discussion. While I could ramble on about the meal plan or people talking in the Tower Room, I decided to stick with something more in my area of expertise: reciprocity.
10. Sundress day
Not everyone masturbates, but most people should. If you have never had an orgasm, buy a vibrator. Dartmouth 7 in terms of difficulty: Big Empty Meeting Area, stacks, steps of Dartmouth Hall, president’s lawn, 50 yard line, Top of the Hop, middle of the green.
We all know that the burgers at Murphy's on the Green are unbeatable just as they are, but why stop there? That’s what Nigel Leeming, the owner of Murphy’s, must have asked himself, because he opened 3 Guys Basement Barbecue to satisfy all our carnivorous cravings for finger-licking fare.
Oh, how I wanted to be Audrey! She was so effortlessly chic, so playfully girlish, so unquestionably adorable. I started to wear ribbons in my pony tail and tie sweaters nonchalantly around my shoulders in an attempt to capture her devil-may-care charm and joie de vivre. But after I reached 14, it was clear I was never going to be Audrey. I was just too, well... big. My features were too strong, my shoulders were too broad, my presence was too imposing. The more I grew, the more obvious it became. I was going to have to look for a new role model.
Short skirts aren't for everyone. Looking around the Dartmouth campus recently, I have concluded that they do indeed seem to work for most people, but still — not for everyone. I'm on the fence about this one, really. Being on the tall side, it's difficult for me to find skirts and dresses that are not short to the point of indecency. Also, I have a fear of accidently having my skirt tucked into my knickers.
The first time I saw stars was outside Moosilauke Ravine Lodge. There’s a moment during DOC First-Year Trips near the end of your first day at the Lodj when you haven’t showered for a while and you’ve spent all day meeting new, also unshowered people, and all anybody wants to do is sleep. When we (hey section D!) reached that point, we started meandering up the hill towards bed. The crowd was moving inside slowly, so I stopped to look up at the sky.
That means that if you press someone to say yes after five nos, whatever you are doing is not consensual. If you are doing something that you know your partner would not agree to sober, it is not consensual. If someone doesn’t say no but doesn’t say yes with clear verbal or nonverbal cues, that is not consensual. I don’t think anyone who is reading this right now is so lacking in compassion that they do not understand this to some degree. We sense these things are wrong, whether we do them, friends do them or acquaintances do them. We try to cover up our feelings by using words like “take advantage” or “misunderstanding.” And sometimes, people manage to fool themselves with this mindset. I know otherwise rational people who believe that some girls just need some convincing or that if a guy is hard, he wants to have sex. This honestly scares me.
For those of you who religiously follow my column (hi, Dad!) I apologize for my tardiness with this week's post. My excuse is that I've been out in the real world conducting some "fieldwork." This past weekend, I went to New York City. For the very first time. Ever. As you can imagine, I was more than a little nervous about what to pack — this is the fashion capital of the United States, after all. On the other hand, I was looking forward to cracking out some of my more "fashionable" clothes that don't get much wear in Hanover — my Topshop jersey ("sweater" for all of you) and leather dress, for example.
At Dartmouth, we observe a handful of high holy days. These include the Thursdays before big weekends, the night of the Homecoming bonfire, M@sters, and every day of both Green Key (which should last at least five days if you’re doing it right) and sophomore Summer. Some of these sacred moments are several hours long; some are several weeks. However many of these days you choose to celebrate, it’s time to add one more to your list – Sundress Day.
On Wednesday, I had the opportunity to attend a cooking demonstration in the Class of 1953 Commons with Grace Young, a self-proclaimed “poet laureate of the wok” and “stir-fry guru.” Young introduced herself to me with a firm handshake and a strong voice. I learned after a brief chat with Young that she and I share an ancestral connection to the same province in China — Guangdong. Cuisines from this area have influenced Young’s dishes and cooking style, she said.
1. The debate: online vs. in store? Some reputable places to buy sex toys online include Smitten Kitten(which has a special focus on environmentally friendly and safe toys) and Babeland (well organized, with lots of lists to help you shop). While these sites allow you to shop from the privacy of your room and will be subtle in packaging so you don’t get weird stares at Hinman, a real store has the appeal of a physical, psychological and/or sexual journey.
In the Collis omelet line, order 2 fried eggs with spinach and onions. Grab a pot of plain Greek yogurt and spoon half of it on top of your eggs. Squeeze the juice of two lemon slices on top, then add a few shakes of garlic and crushed red pepper (both are located above the salad bar). Add salt to taste.
Microbrews & Mocktails at One Wheelock, 8-11 p.m.
Tuesday morning I found myself in a sticky situation. The sun was shining brightly and, although there was still a discernible nip in the air, I'd decided to take my chances and wear a skirt. Error. I had only walked a minute from my apartment when I realized that there was no way that I could simultaneously carry a bag, a binder, a large textbook and a flask of coffee, and also protect my (short, high-waisted, pleated) skirt from the wind. I couldn't turn back and change into jeans, as I was already late. I did the best job I could, bunching the skirt to the side and clutching it in the same hand as my flask, coffee dripping everywhere. It's good that nothing is exactly a long walk from anywhere around here.
With all the recent sidewalk chalking for local water and the cries of green organizations last fall during the Republican primary debate on campus in the fall, Dartmouth's green initiatives are hard to ignore. But what does that really mean? Are we trying to set an example for other Ivy League institutions and schools across the United States? I hope so! Are we trying to be cooler than them and say we are greener then they are? Heck yes! But are we actually winning the race? Well, just look at the confused faces of people at Collis when they try to recycle their clearly compostable apple cores. You decide.