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Do: On Getting Wasted

(09/27/18 6:05am)

 For the linguist J. L. Austin, an utterance can be constative and/or performative. That is, it can simply make a descriptive statement or it can actually perform the articulated action. Austin would judge the performative speech act by its degree of “felicity”: an utterance should be considered “happy” if the action actually takes place and “infelicitous” if not. At Dartmouth, it is hard to make felicitous utterances –– i.e. to make something happen just by saying it. For example, many would say “let’s have a meal soon” to others, without ever having one. Similarly, when one says “I will study with my friends on FFB,” one will not necessarily study while sitting there. But on this campus, when one announces to the world that “I’m going to get wasted hard tonight,” one will almost certainly manage to look wasted hard that evening. This felicitous speech act, once uttered, guarantees students a rare kind of happiness.


Truong: Lost Lingo

(09/27/18 6:20am)

 I was home for a month this summer after a long eight months, so of course I had my calendar full of dentist and optometry appointments, lunch dates with old and new friends and outings with extended family members. As the weeks went by, my parents reminded me that my grandparents on each side wanted to share a meal with me before I left for school again. I, of my own moxie, half-facetiously questioned why that would be necessary, as I had seen them fairly recently during a family gathering. Plus, I added, I wouldn’t be able to have any meaningful conservation with them due to the language barrier between us. Nevertheless, two lunches were scheduled, one for each set of grandparents.


Pak: Dad’s Little Lessons

(09/27/18 6:00am)

On a random weekday night when I was 10 or 11 years old, my dad called for me and my three younger siblings down to the basement. Usually, calls down to the basement meant movie nights, which the four of us always looked forward to. Giddy and excited at the prospect of watching a movie late into a school night, the four of us hopped onto the couch and bundled ourselves in blankets.




Zehner: The Prodigal Son

(09/25/18 6:00am)

Bickering between China and Hong Kong has surfaced, once again, in international news coverage. But this time, something as seemingly-innocuous as a new train link has triggered outcry from concerned Hong Kongers. However, they are justifiably angry; the train link is merely the latest attempt by China to erode the civil liberties guaranteed to Hong Kong after the British departure in 1997, and to ensure that the Special Administrative Region is chained to the mainland. It is becoming increasingly apparent that China has an overarching plan to erode the features of the “one country, two systems” model, and to unite the region with the rest of China.


Allard: A Proper Exhibit

(09/21/18 6:05am)

This month, a study group created by the College will recommend a course of action regarding the Hovey murals. The murals, originally painted in the 1930s by Walter Beach Humphrey, a member of the Class of 1914, illustrate a drinking song written by another Dartmouth student, Richard Hovey. The murals used to decorate the walls of a faculty room in Thayer dining hall (now the basement of The Class of 1953 Commons), but are now locked out of view. Depending on the study group’s conclusions, the murals may remain where they are, be destroyed or be relocated. I hope that they will be relocated.


Verbum Ultimum: Crisis Averted, Crisis Ongoing

(09/21/18 6:10am)

 Finally, a rejoinder is made. On Monday, Sept. 17, the College’s Board of Trustees approved the construction of a new 350-bed dorm on the site of what is currently the Alumni Gym tennis courts and House Center A, commonly referred to by students as the Onion. The decision is a necessary step in alleviating Dartmouth’s ongoing housing crisis; executive vice president Rick Mills and his team may be lauded for their discourse and counsel throughout the process.



Chin: Muse-en-scène

(09/20/18 6:15am)

Together, the pages I follow on Instagram feed have two sides: emotional excess and visual excess. Everyone follows different content, whether it be food blogs, fitness pages or nature pictures, all of which carry their own trends. Because I tend to follow clothing labels, emotional meme pages, photographers and magazines, my media intake is a narrative that seems to summarize the contrasts between inner and outer feeling. The narrative of sexual liberation in popular personal pages and magazines compared to the shame that seems to pervade more emotional accounts suggests that, in general, the sexually explicit is more socially acceptable than what I might call the emotionally explicit. 


Pak: The Power of Anonymity

(09/20/18 6:10am)

The anonymous “I am Part of the Resistance Inside the Trump Administration” op-ed published in the New York Times is not powerful solely for its content. Half of its power can be attributed to its author’s anonymity. Before I argue on anonymity’s behalf, however, it is critical to acknowledge that the author is anonymous only to a certain degree. The New York Times wrote that the author is a senior official in the Trump administration, and I, for one, am inclined to believe them. Not only does the New York Times rarely ever publish op-eds with anonymous authors, but as CNN’s Chris Cuomo puts it, would the NYT really “risk their reputation on a kill shot like this if it was proven to be false?” Such a deed, according to Cuomo, would be considered a heavy “miscarriage of journalism.”


Bartlett: Legitimacy Lost

(09/20/18 6:05am)

Life isn’t fair; get used to it. My father’s favorite tidbit of “parental wisdom,” this brutal truth applies quite well to the realm of collegiate admissions. In fact, this sentiment colors how people gaze upon all of academia. It guides them to bemoan privilege, to champion the underdog, to seek true meritocracy. And yet here we stand, looming over an academic precipice which stands to plummet higher education downward and subvert the progress that has been made toward climbing Mt. Meritocracy. This generation stands privy to the death of standardized testing — the death of the great legitimizer.




Malbreaux: Achievement Over Agency?

(09/18/18 6:20am)

Seeing so many freshmen on campus in the past week made me reminisce on what my freshman fall was like. Before I began looking for any and all club sports and extracurricular activities to join, most of my time was just spent in classes. I remember really enjoying my Writing 5, “Contemporary Moral Issues.” We’d spend several weeks tackling big issues — physician-assisted suicide, capital punishment, abortion — and consider the legal and moral implications of each.


Chin: To All The Rom-Coms I've Loved Before

(09/14/18 6:15am)

“To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before” is corny but good — a throwback to “Sixteen Candles” or “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” unlike what its misleadingly poetic title might suggest. Most of the online hype praises the film for including an Asian female lead while still remaining accessible to other audiences. It delves into high school issues to which other girls can relate — popularity or lack thereof, embarrassing gossip, complicated family situations, teen angst.


Verbum Ultimum: The Class of the Hour

(09/14/18 6:20am)

It is easy to argue that for a college approaching its 250th anniversary, the arrival of a new class of students gracing the Green is a humdrum affair in Dartmouth’s very long history. True to Dartmouth’s jolly stereotype, however, the Class of 2022 was welcomed to campus with the same energy, flair and Cascada Best Hits™ tracks that many classes past were introduced to themselves. While so many aspects of a freshman’s first few weeks at the College are painstakingly rehearsed and prepared, the festivities were not unfounded. There truly is cause for optimism at the College today, and the Class of 2022 is in a unique position to take advantage of it.


Saklad: A Guide to Orientation

(09/12/18 1:00pm)

The incoming freshman’s first exercise in college-styled time management presents itself at Orientation. Parents and regularly scheduled class times do not dictate the time dedicated to moving into dorm rooms and getting adjusted to life as a Dartmouth freshman. In fact, neither does the Orientation schedule. Sheets of paper that lay out the day in colored codes corresponding to words like “optional” and “mandatory” ought to mean little to a college freshman recently released from the binds of a high school agenda. What is a schedule during Orientation week? Merely a suggestion.


Hive Mind Vaccination

(09/12/18 1:00pm)

At the time that I am writing this, I am in Rio de Janeiro — far away from Dartmouth, both physically and mentally. I’m living in Tabajaras, a favela in Copacabana that is run by a cartel with just three golden rules: do not rape, do not steal, do not kill. Break one, and the last remnants of you will be your ashes scattered over a mountaintop.


Cook: Loyal Sons of Dartmouth

(09/11/18 1:00pm)

“I felt like a big celebrity on campus. Well, the kind of celebrity you could conceivably be at Dartmouth if you weren’t a jock or a sorority girl, who were the real celebrities.” This is the beginning of Mindy Kaling’s ’01 New York Times Bestselling memoir “Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns).” Though she is one of the more famous Dartmouth alumni, her public reflection on her years at the College ranges from fond to brutally honest, sometimes due to her self-deprecating humor and sometimes due to her willingness to address some very real problems that plagued campus in her day. Most of what she says, even her more frank quotes, are still not “bad press” for the College. But it’s possible the admissions office wouldn’t want her version of Dartmouth to be the first prospective students come to know.




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