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It’s the end of week nine. The leaves are gone and the cold is here to stay. The sun will not appear for another six months. We all know what time it is. Finals! Campus stress levels will soon skyrocket. The 1902 Room will smell of sleeplessness and fear. The stacks will become an eight-story panic room. Freshman will use their notes as tissues. But are finals really that bad? We may be bumped and bruised, but we make it through them time and time again. We Yik Yak and Snapchat our woes, but we make finals much worse than they are. Inspired by Dave Doyle’s “Ultimate Final Exam,” this is what we make our finals out to be like when we’re worrying.
Rose: Something positive about the past year.
FREE SPEECH SAM and POLITICALLY CORRECT SAM are waiting in line for Hillary Clinton.
Wow, did week nine hit me hard.
On March 29, 2013, The Mirror published Maggie and Maddie’s first joint article, “Sharing Like Wildfire.” They were pumped. When they saw the article, however, they barely recognized it. Maddie highlighted the parts of the article that Maddie and Maggie had actually turned in, and all that was yellow were some statistics and direct quotes. To quote the article, “During spring break, the selection of a new Pope was simplified down for worldwide consumption to a succinct #whitesmoke.” Maddie and Maggie were “v” confused. They had absolutely no clue what this meant (was the pope caught smoking??) and had to google it to seem half as witty as the article made them out to be.
The Dartmouth received 243 responses to a survey about taboos on campus, including questions about sex, crime and hygiene.
In one part of campus, students sit in the worn armchairs of quaint Sanborn Library, reading about Voltaire’s ideologies, composing essays that debate the merits of capitalism or solving mathematical equations that would mystify even the most accomplished of engineers. Dignified in dress and sophisticated in speech, they illustrate a quintessential scene of Ivy League academia.
Aside from us, there are approximately 1,114 other ’19s at Dartmouth. They come from across the globe — from here in New Hampshire to Thailand to Kenya. And yet, we haven’t a heard a single one of them admit to being homesick.
What are the most taboo topics at Dartmouth?
I hate to admit it, but there is something special about going for a drive.
STAY HERE FOREVER SAM and LET’S BLOW THIS POPSICLE STAND SAM are watching an impossibly early sunset from next to Shattuck Observatory
Color 1: The Post-Trip Lonely
During Maddie and Maggie’s freshman year, they quickly formed a little crush on a senior boy. Because of his very distinct (read: beautiful) spectacles, they nicknamed him “Glasses Kid.” He just looked so hip, so studious, so worldly. He probably read Sartre (in French) by day and played classical Spanish music on his guitar by night. He was our real life Jim Sturgess from “21” (2008) — the quintessential Ivy League badass. They hoped that one day he would notice them. He never did.
Children amble around, clad in costumes resembling pumpkins, angels and superheroes, lugging enormous pillowcases or orange plastic bins filled to the brim with candy. Elsewhere, older adolescents and adults host costume parties where they play spooky music and serve drinks called “The Vampire’s Kiss” and “Witch’s Brew.” Others watch movies like “Halloweentown” (1998) and “Harry Potter” while munching on candy corn.
It’s just after sunset as I walk down an alleyway in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, trying to make out the numbers on the buildings I pass. After double-checking my ticket for the right address, I join a group of people standing outside a building with a sign that reads “Deadwick’s Ethereal Emporium.” Glancing around, I’m getting a very touristy vibe from the group. I’m clearly the youngest, except for two pre-teen girls who stand with their mom clutching Starbucks cups between their mittened hands. I take a moment to wonder why I didn’t get Starbucks first. That was the move. With the sun down, it’s getting cold fast, and I’m wondering how much longer we’ll have to wait. I turn to a nice-looking elderly couple on my right.
Since the very first Halloween, people around the globe have always found ways to sexify everyday costumes — nurse, cat, witch, what have you. With a snip, snip here and a snip, snip there, that playful pumpkin becomes one steamy gourd. Others can’t help but shout, “Give me a load of that seed!” For the people and animals these sensual costumes imitate, however, Halloween can truly be a scary time. Here to talk about it are the costumes themselves.
Nine School Street is haunted. Many residents of the 19th-century mansion — today known as the Panarchy undergraduate society — firmly believe that spiritual presences both malevolent and benign haunt the building behind its massive columns.
For ’16s, this is the first time we’re all — more or less — on campus together since the 2012-2013 school year. My first night back this fall, fresh off the Dartmouth Coach and still lugging my duffels, I had dinner at Molly’s to celebrate a friend’s birthday. As a closet socially anxious person, this was the perfect way to start the term. I maybe not-so-secretly have the constant niggling worry that nobody likes me, and I should just go eat some worms. So having plans for a social gathering the minute I got here was comforting. After three years, I feel like I have networks — plural — of people to turn to and be with, and that’s a beautiful thing. Surprisingly, though, it’s not togetherness that’s fueled my happiness — it’s separation. It’s the D-Plan.
ABYSS SAM and SPIRIT SAM are walking in the graveyard.
Halloween has rolled around, and once again I am struggling to think of a good costume.