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If you’ve stepped outside once in the last few weeks, you may have noticed the absurd number and size of tour groups. I did a little brainstorming and realized that the only memorable tour guides were the ones that could successfully roll with the punches of inappropriate parent questions or fellow students who wanted to spice up the experience of the tour goers as well as their tour guide classmate. These uncomfortable moments inspired a few ways to be purposefully problematic if you feel so inclined:
'20 #1: "Look at the sunset! Do you see that pretty lavender color?"’20 #2: “What are you talking about? I don't see it.”’20 #1: “What do you mean you don't see it, look at the sunset.”’20 #2: “HELLO, I’M COLORBLIND REMEMBER.”
think I speak for everyone when I say, there’s at least one thing we all should
have given up for Lent. Winter term is always a rough one, and spring term can
bring about a marathon of questionable choices so we all give into our
weaknesses at some point or another. However, now that Lent is over, spring is
in full swing and midterms are upon us, you realize there’s always one luxury
you could have gone without. Here are a few things that you should have given
up for Lent based on your zodiac sign:
Everyone has that one quirk that comes out while drinking. Some people start singing, some people start speaking their truth, some people consistently start disrobing. Me? I start asking people to tell me their deepest, darkest secrets. To be fair, I do this sober all the time. It is, unfortunately, my go-to icebreaker. I guess it’s an ice breaker in the sense that the Titanic was an ice breaker — ya, maybe some ice is broken, but mostly it is a horrible disaster.
For a freshman entering college for the first time, the adjustment from high school can often feel overwhelming. There are so many new experiences that it can be difficult to balance classes, social life and extracurricular activities. Some might argue that figuring out your future should be your priority at Dartmouth, but I would say that an equally (if not more) important task is keeping up with the lingo. No one liked having to ask their cool trip leader what getting “golden tree’d” is, and so to help our incoming ’21s maintain the illusion of not being the worst class ever, here is a quick guide to the Dartmouth slang they might encounter at Dimensions and beyond.
’17: "Who wore Prada to BG?"
Being extra is a way of life. It’s your own special way of living life to the fullest, the brightest, the most present way you can. Don’t ever let the haters get you down — you can never ever be too extra, and anyone who says you’re too much just isn’t enough. Always remember: If you’re not doing the most, you’re doing the least.
I don’t know about you guys, but 17W's Dartmouth Idol was probably the highlight of my day/week/month/year/life not only because of the insane talent, but also because of a couple cuties who, I swear, were singing directly to me. The life changing experience prompted the thought: What other reality TV shows could potentially thrive at Dartmouth?
To rally, or not to rally — that is the question:
There are two types of people in this world: those who are facetimey, and everyone else. Even when it seems like the entire campus and their prospies are in the KAF line post-10As or every machine in the gym is occupied, there are some elusive folks you just never see around. And, of course, your crush happens to be one of them. Perhaps the mystery adds to the allure, perhaps you just don’t know enough about them yet to know their daily habits and frequent locales, but you saw them in the Collis pasta line that one time and you’ve been infatuated ever since. It’s difficult to play hard-to-get when they’re hard-to-find, but with these tried-and-true methods, you won’t have to Foco squat in desperation to finally have that long-awaited interaction.
Grad student: “Sooo ... I missed the memo that it's illegal to drink on the Dartmouth Coach.”
Ever since the rogue snowstorm that has transformed Dartmouth back into a winter wonderland hell danger zone, the fact that we are actually finished with week one of spring term seems like a far-off fantasy. Some shed tears in hopes of sunshine and warmer weather, while others reminisce on the fresh, crisp pow that graced the slopes of ski mountains just a few short weeks ago. However, no matter the outlook, 17S has appeared to be more of a 17W 2.0 — so why not try and relive your best self – winter term is always a peak time — in what seems to be “50 Winter Terms”.
My friend Pritika is keeping a list of all the things she still doesn’t know, so that at the end of the year she can say “I’m a college graduate, and I still don’t know what fire is!” She is very concerned about not understanding fire. About every other week, I get a text from her saying “what is neoliberalism?!?” We are both very concerned about not understanding neoliberalism. We’re going to get to the bottom of it.
Student in Thayer: “I’ll just move to the Bay Area, find myself a bro-grammer and be a trophy wife.”
Overheard in FFB: “I almost failed my driver’s test because I didn’t know what the stop sign was. They removed the word STOP so it was just a red octagon, and I was just like *shrugs*. I passed with the bare minimum.”
Are you more of a Webster Ave. person than an East Wheelock St. person? Does your heart skip a beat when you see mac n cheese bites? Create your Saturday night and we’ll guess what your major is.
’19: “It’s a lot of effort to go to an event like that not drunk.”’17: “It’s a lot of effort to do a lot of things not drunk.”
Need some songs that truly encompass what everyday life is like here on Dartmouth College Campus? We've got you covered for every moment, from your morning coffee run to your spontaneous evening plans.
Feb. 25, 3:06 a.m., Bissell Hall: Safety and Security officers investigated a noise complaint in a dorm room. Officers discovered that the occupants had smoked marijuana inside the room and had consumed hard alcohol. A glass pipe with marijuana residue was confiscated and turned over to the Hanover Police Department.
’19: “JINX! You owe me a KAF!”