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(02/16/15 7:29pm)
I would like to preface this story by saying that I am no fan of fruit. Don’t get me wrong, I totally understand its nutritional value — after all, it does have a huge spot in the food triangle/pyramid/plate/whatever shape the federal government and pediatricians everywhere are trying to make “fetch” these days.
(02/11/15 3:54pm)
Jan. 6, 11:30 p.m., McLane Hall: Safety and Security officers responded to a physical confrontation involving an intoxicated member of the Class of 2018, who reportedly pushed another individual. The intoxicated student was transported to Dick’s House and admitted for the night.
(02/09/15 3:24pm)
Last week, The Dartmouth published a roundup of reactions in the national media to College President Phil Hanlon’s “Moving Dartmouth Forward” (MDF) plan. Unfortunately, in a shocking editorial oversight, The Dartmouth’s reporting failed to cover the viewpoints of another important indicator of national opinion —anonymous online commentators. So, on a mission to compliment our previous reporting, Dartbeat trolled the internet for the most ridiculous comments we could find about MDF. Here are our findings, presented without changes to their spelling, grammar or lucidity:
(02/09/15 11:57am)
It must be true love.
(02/03/15 1:58pm)
Quizzes by Quibblo.com
(01/28/15 7:47pm)
I would like to begin with the observation that the “FoCo Challenge” is a complete misnomer. When I was tasked with examining this Dartmouth tradition, I thought of it as a challenge in the usual sense —an activity that a person must strive to overcome with some great physical, mental or emotional strength. In short, I thought of it in the same way that I thought of running a four-minute mile, writing the greatest collection of sonnets in the English language or passing Econ 20. I have done none of these things. Zero. But now that I have remained in FoCo for an entire day and stuffed my face with several meals for the price of one, I can tell you that there is no possible way it is equivalent to these feats. Of course, not all agree with me. Some say completing the FoCo challenge makes you a fiscally responsible hero. Others say it involves unfairly duping the College out of two meal swipes and should be banned, or at the very least frowned upon. Me? Well, I chose to ignore my questionable moral compass and sedentary lifestyle and imagine that I’m now a Dartmouth legend for having completed the challenge. If you’re still unconvinced, here are some highlights of my mind-numbingly uneventful Sunday in FoCo:
(01/28/15 11:07am)
Jan. 24, 12:58 p.m., Occom Pond: Safety and Security officers responded to a report of an injured member of the faculty at Occom Pond. The member of the faculty had apparently fallen while skating, and was evaluated for an elbow injury by Dartmouth EMS.
(01/21/15 11:26am)
Jan. 16, 1:52 p.m., New Hampshire Hall: Safety and Security officers responded to a report of property damage behind New Hamp. Ice had reportedly fallen off of the dormitory’s roof, causing damage to a student’s parked vehicle.
(01/13/15 7:58pm)
Jan. 9, 11:52 p.m., Panarchy: Safety and Security officers, Dartmouth EMS and the Hanover Fire Department responded to a Good Samaritan call at Panarchy. The intoxicated individual — a member of the Class of 2015 — was evaluated and transported to Dick’s House.
(01/12/15 7:31pm)
SPAN 1
(11/18/14 8:00am)
No one can dispute that Dartmouth is a little crazy when it comes to traditions — especially those that require any public display of nudity. Seriously, it’s like we come up with traditions (the Ledyard Challenge and Blue Light Challenge, for example) and then throw in a final streaking clause. Let’s face it — we love being naked.
(11/05/14 4:00pm)
Oct. 31, 10:06 p.m., Webster Avenue: Safety and Security officers and the Hanover Fire Department responded to a report of an intoxicated female. She was evaluated and then transported to Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center.
(11/05/14 8:00am)
Why did the baby cross the road? … BECAUSE HE WAS A CHICKEN!
(10/31/14 9:00am)
You Dartbeat readers have been very selfish lately. The Dartbeat family has been hitting you with all sorts of autumnal Halloween goodness: we’ve told you all the haunted spots YOU shouldcheck out around Hanover, we’ve given YOU eight autumn recipes to try out and we’ve helped decide whoYOU should be for Halloween. I’m putting my foot down and saying ENOUGH. It is not all about you, you, you (well, it kind of is, but still). So I am introducing the first annual “What Should Administrators Be For Halloween?” because even administrators need some Dartbeat TLC.
(10/30/14 12:00pm)
I grew up in Jersey City, New Jersey. For those of you who don’t know where that is, it’s right across the Hudson River from New York City (please don’t refer to us as the sixth borough, or we will hurt you). So my autumns were pretty muchspent drinking fake apple cider and eating ShopRite pumpkin pie. Oh, and waiting for the leaves to turn red on the one tree we had on our block and then watching the street sweepers clear out the leaves everyTuesdaymorning. *sigh*
(10/30/14 12:00pm)
I grew up in Jersey City, New Jersey. For those of you who don’t know where that is, it’s right across the Hudson River from New York City (please don’t refer to us as the sixth borough, or we will hurt you). So my autumns were pretty muchspent drinking fake apple cider and eating ShopRite pumpkin pie. Oh, and waiting for the leaves to turn red on the one tree we had on our block and then watching the street sweepers clear out the leaves everyTuesdaymorning. *sigh*
(10/25/14 3:00pm)
Hear ye, hear ye! Ladies and gentlemen, guys and gals, beirut and pong lovers alike, it is my distinct honor to inform you that the debate is officially over — Dartmouthisin fact the birthplace of beer pong.
(10/20/14 8:00am)
Colors of the world, SPICE UP YOUR LIFE! Every boy and girl, SPICE UP YOUR LIFE! People of the world, SPICE UP YOUR LIFE!
(10/16/14 2:31pm)
Oct. 10, 12:27 p.m., Maynard Street: Safety and Security officers found an intoxicated student near the Maynard Street parking lot.The individual was evaluated and transported to Dick’s House where he was admitted for the night.
Oct. 10, 11:33 p.m., Russell Sage Hall: Safety and Security officers and the Hanover Fire Department responded to a report of an intoxicated female in Russell Sage Hall. She was evaluated and then transported to Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center.
Oct. 10, 11:42 p.m., Collis Center: Safety and Security officers and Dartmouth Emergency Medical Services responded to a report of a heavily intoxicated and vomiting male. The individual was evaluated by Dartmouth EMS and transported to Dick’s House where he was admitted for the night.
Oct. 10, 1:36 a.m., Russell Sage Hall: Safety and Security officers responded to a report of an ill female in Russell Sage Hall. The individual was identified as afriend of a Dartmouth student. She received medical assistance and was reportedly taken into protective custody by the Hanover Police Department.
Oct. 11, 7:18 a.m., Bissell Hall: Safety and Security officers were dispatched to Bissell Hall for a report of an unresponsive male. An ambulance was called, the individual was evaluated by paramedics and then admitted to Dick’s House for intoxication.
Oct. 11,7:51 p.m., 45 Lebanon Street: Safety and Security officers and Hanover Ambulance responded to 45 Lebanon St., where a student had reportedly tripped and fallen down. The individual was evaluated and then transported to DHMC byambulance for further observation.
Oct. 12, 8:52 a.m., Lebanon, NH: Safety and Security officers responded to a report of a Dartmouth-leased van stolen near Hillcrest Drive in Lebanon. The police were contacted and the stolen vehicle was reportedly found near Newport, N.H. by state police.
Oct. 12, 1:05 a.m., Webster Avenue: Safety and Security officers responded to a call to Webster Avenue where they found a reportedly unresponsive individual sitting on the curb. The individual was evaluated and transportedto Dick’s House.
(10/09/14 7:00am)
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without sound and music, and silence was upon the face of the night. And then God said, “Let there be EDM” and so God created the DJ.