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(09/28/16 2:46pm)
People used to ask me why I came to Dartmouth. I was always too nervous to tell them the truth, so I lied. I said everything but the one, the big — the biggest — reason. You see, Dartmouth has the biggest flower in the world. Let me say that again, of the God knows how many flowers in the world, Dartmouth. Has. The. Biggest. One. Its name is Morphy, and it is a corpse flower, scientific name , “giant”). In case you missed that, its scientific name literally means “giant misshapen phallus.” You can’t make this stuff up.
(10/20/16 1:31pm)
Freshmen:
(09/17/16 6:59pm)
Alright, this is it: my first class at Dartmouth College. Man, I am really beginning to think I didn’t need to get here early. Oh, there’s another guy in the corner. I’ll wave.
(05/27/16 11:17am)
Well, ladies and gentlemen, you made it. You, the graduating Class of 2016, are about to enter the terrifying world the rest of us have been screwing up for quite some time now. Don’t listen to the people who tell you the Middle East is imploding, the migrant crisis is unsolvable or the economy is on the verge of crumbling again. (Those people worry too much.) Instead, hold your head high and embrace your imminent enslavement to the market, corporate overlords and student debt. Want to know almost no one, work your ass off for scraps and be responsible for paying for absolutely everything? Whether you answer “yes” or “no,” it doesn’t matter—the future is inevitable, and there is nothing you can do to stop it from screwing you where the sun don’t shine.
(04/13/16 1:56pm)
(04/06/16 2:50pm)
You: “Well, I think I’ll be majoring in philosophy, with a minor in English or history. I’m still not really sure…”
(04/01/16 4:48pm)
Do you feel misunderstood, bored or constantly in the company of people who don’t care about your “One time we were in Trafalgar Square and...” stories? If so, you’re experiencing symptoms of a disconcerting affliction: Reverse Culture Shock (RCS). RCS is quite common on college campuses, and it’s especially prevalent among Dartmouth students returning from study abroad terms. If you experiencezero or more of the following four symptoms, youprobably suffer from this troubling condition:
(03/04/16 11:31am)
There is a curious room just to the right of the Baker library entrance (the one that opens onto Tuck Drive). If you haven’t yet been inclined to step inside, I encourage you to do so. For if you do – if you more than flick your eyes inside while you walk past on the way to the misery of studying or waiting interminably in the KAF line – you will see some interesting things, foremost among them Dartmouth's Founding Charter.
(02/25/16 9:48am)
Speculation mounts as we at Dartbeat wonder: Who is the Streeter arsonist? Who broke the window at TDX? What’s next?
(02/12/16 12:48pm)
Valentine’s Day is weird. It is like every other holiday in that there are things you are supposed to eat (chocolate), supposed to do and supposed to send to people. But V Day doesn't celebrate something that happened in the past, nor is it a religious holiday. Instead it celebrates love, and the worldwide campaign to misinform people about the heart’s actual shape. There are one billion valentines sent every year!
(02/11/16 6:14pm)
We’ve all been there: You’re considering applying early decision to Dartmouth and your parents drag you to Hanover one (very) cold weekend for a tour of campus. You finish the info session and make your way outside for the tour. Your potential tour guides announce their graduation years and majors, and say something they think is funny (it probably isn’t that funny). You choose the government major minoring in art history because she’s smart and serious, but also looks like if she was locked in a room with fun, she’d find it, eventually.
(02/10/16 12:44pm)
Boxing, caribou migrations, menacing weapons, car engines that were never intended to run, walrus stomachs—Dartmouth’s Hood Museum of Art has it all. Upon a recent visit, I learned the first and second floor were only displaying a small portion of the total collection. At any one time, only one percent of the Hood’s 75,000 works of art are on display. This wealth of artwork is on campus, free to all and well worth a visit. The lack of people there during my visit is the reason for this post. Seriously, with the exception of staff and security, I was alone in my visit. So I took some photos of my favorite pieces, in the hope that Dartbeat readers will go see them in person: