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As an incoming college student, you may be excited for various parts of college life: meeting new friends, taking intellectually stimulating courses and, maybe, venturing out to a party at a Greek house for the first time. The journey to your first party might be full of questions: What do I wear? How much should I drink? Which Instagram do I post so that my high school friends know that I’m enjoying college and maximum fun is being achieved? Unfortunately for you, Dartmouth first-years do not indulge in the excitements (and anxieties) that come along with Greek spaces until the six-week ban is up. While sliding through home friends’ Snapchat stories and scouring campus for something to do on a Friday night, Saturday night or Wednesday night, you might feel a little defeated and as if there is nothing “fun” to do on campus. But don’t worry — to find your entertainment during the frat ban, use this as your guide to the social spaces that will make the ban more bearable and make the first six weeks of college really feel like ~college~.
KAF is closed on the weekends. If you're a ’21 or someone who just doesn’t love themselves, this might not mean much to you, but if you value your life (and your chocolate milk), this term has probably been pretty devastating so far. Yes, you still get to enjoy the little pleasures in life, like those last sips of raspberry lemonade or waiting in line until your third son’s graduation just to find out they’re out of all acceptable lunch foods, but there’s nothing like the hungover morning pilgrimage to KAF for a chocolate milk with 40 shots to get through the Sunday scaries. I have yet to find the formal petition to reopen KAF, so until that glorious day comes, here are a few ways to survive the weekend without your caffeine, flaky pastries or dignity.
I walk to
the Life Sciences Center every day (because I am a poor planner) and would like
to think I’m pretty familiar with the trek. But this year I noticed something
different — recently, someone has installed a giant speaker playing soothing,
yet baffling, water noises and mating whale noises on the outside of the
building. So, as a serious Dartbeat investigator, I decided to look into this
latest Dartmouth foolishness.
Ever spend 45 minutes waiting for the Hop Grill? Has the KAF line already made you consistently late to your chemistry class? Sick of spending half your day waiting for food but not that interested in starving yourself? With these seven super convenient, definitely legal and absolutely socially acceptable life hacks, you’ll never have to wait in a DDS line again!
Have you ever wondered what your First-Year Trip would have been like (or what it will be like) if you were assigned a trip based on your zodiac sign? Maybe you hoped to experience something more suited to your personality. Or maybe being forced out of your comfort zone is what made (or will make) your trip so unforgettable. Well, regardless of how your trip went, here’s what your horoscope says about which trip you should have done:
It’s been a wild ride with Dartbeat these past 4 years, watching it evolve slowly but surely. I have forced people to tell me their secrets, and admitted things over the internet that I maybe shouldn’t have. But here we are, week 10, and it’s time for my final article. And, since it’s Dartbeat, it only feels right to write it in list form.
'20: "Which sorority is K triangle?"
Girls’ rush is a process filled with … you see, that’s the problem — no one really knows. As ’20s, we begin to see guys flirting with brothers once the frat ban lifts, but for girls, rush is equal parts confusing, intimidating and a whole lot of mysterious. So when pre-rush events started popping up over spring term, one should not be shocked that extreme panic pursued. We went from being totally prepared to girl flirt fall term to having no idea what to do, how to act or most importantly, what to wear. So if you’ve ever wondered about the thought process that girls go through before a pre-rush event, here it is.
Ever wondered what SZN you are? Sick of seeing all those Instagram posts because you don’t know which #SZN fit your personality? Now is your chance to understand everything there is to know about yourself. You tell us about your Green Key, and we’ll match you with a SZN.
We all know the motto for spring term’s big weekend: “Green Key is a marathon, not a sprint.” If you’re reading this, that means you made it past the finish line, and whether or not you crawled that last leg or not, you are a CHAMPION. And no matter what your weekend was like, we're sure it was filled with loving alums, sunshine, darties and a whole lot of MDF approved alcohol. And even more potent than the surges of regret you are still reeling from in your Annex B cubicle are the drunk texts hanging over your head like a raincloud of shame. And just like we do every year, Dartbeat has compiled the most hilarious and egregious Green Key texts you'll never live down:
Damn. What a loooong week. When did we start?? Tuesday? Wednesday? It’s all a blur, but the raging headache and bruises on my feet tell me I must have had a damn good time. So you want to know how I survived thrived during the marathon that was Green Key? Well, here are some of my favorite pick-me-ups and the answer to your post-Green Key rage.
’17: "What do you think is more likely, me getting with an ’11 or a ’21?"
It’s Green Key Friday, which means that approximately zero people will be in class. But if you’re for some reason super dedicated to your perfect attendance record, never fear: What many Dartmouth students don’t realize is that empty classrooms present valuable and unique opportunities for personal growth and discovery. Here are some ways to take advantage of your empty 11/12/2 this Green Key Friday.
Ah, yes. Here we are. We have entered the szn of pastel shorts and floral rompers. The szn of darties and rallying after waking up confused and slightly tipsy at 11:00 p.m. The szn of “if I pregame my 12, will I be sober enough for my meeting with my prof at 2:30?” Yup, you guessed it. We have entered Green Key szn. Whether you are ready or not, now is time to get shit done so you can focus on alcohol consumption and taking the perfect instagram picture this weekend. In preparation for the latter, I’ve compiled a list of the most common Green Key instas for some inspiration. In preparation for the former, well, I hope you’ve started carbo-loading.
Ah, Green Key. The one week a year every Dartmouth student — wait, did you just say WEEK? That is an example of one of the many questions freshman will be asking well … now. I for one thought this was just a two-day endeavor, but like most events on campus, why just stick to simplicity when you can pregame the pregame to the pregame three days before the pregame’s pregame? I have compiled a full-on itinerary for Green Key based on upperclassmen recommendations and realistic first-year expectations, along with a few tips to make sure you survive (key word here is survive, not thrive) the biggest event of the year. If you have no idea what to do with yourself between now and Sage the Gemini’s Grammy award-winning performance, fear not, just pull up your Google calendar and get ready to rage.
You’ve been hearing those two special words from the moment
you stepped on campus: Green. Key.
“If you split a 5 Hour Energy, do you get two and a half hours of full energy
or five hours of half energy?”
Alas, Mother’s Day has come and gone. And let’s be honest — were
you actually prepared for it this time around? Probably not. It happens every
year — you open your iCal in April to see Mother’s Day a few weeks away, thinking
to yourself, I have plenty of time to get
a gift/send a card/get some flowers … and I won’t forget this year! But,
every year it creeps up, and before you know it Mother’s Day was literally yesterday and you still have nothing. But good news — it’s time for you to turn to some
~alternative~ methods to win back your mother’s love and affection after you
inevitably disappoint her on Mother’s Day once again. Even better, all these are
easily doable from the comfort of your own dorm room! Maybe next year, though,
remember to send a card.
Guess what kids, it’s almost summer time again, and everyone’s flocking to the Green like we haven’t seen grass in years. People play games, nap and read, frolicking in the sun like there’s no tomorrow. And that’s all fine and good. But what about those students who want to spend time with their friends yet don’t enjoy the usual activities? Well, this list goes out to them.
Mother's Day. According to Wikipedia, it's "a celebration honoring the mother of the family, as well as motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society." For those of us who don't have moms in Hanover to celebrate, think again. The maternal energy here is palpable, and there's never been a better time to acknowledge the alternative types moms of Dartmouth: