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At some point the freshman plague — that ambiguous sickness that seems to hit right around midterms week and never leave — catches up to everyone. Though it’s not always clear whether people are throwing up on the weekends because of the plague or other undisclosed reasons, we can all unify around the misery the plague causes. But in the event that people were actually crazy enough to think they could avoid the plague, how could they attempt stay healthy? We have some ideas.
As our readers know, Dartbeat is a rigorous and hard-hitting journalism source. As such, we have conducted a totally real and not at all fictional investigation into the most important object at Dartmouth College: Foco cookies. Following are the 100 percent believable discoveries that we made during our investigation.
Struggling to find a way to ask that cutie in your econ class to formal? It’s true that a flitz is flattering to receive. And being asked in person is sweet in an old-fashioned way. But both of those methods are a bit stale. So here are some better ways to ask that special someone to a formal!
“Doppelgängers” Lily and Lizzie Clark ’20 share an uncanny resemblance. Coupled with their remarkably similar upbringings, their identical looks prove them to be worthy competition for James Detweiler ’18 and Ryan Hunter ’21 as well as Oliver Chartock ’21 and Tony DiPadova ’19. The history for Lizzie and Lily begins the earliest of all.
Recently, our fearless leader College President Phil Hanlon announced that the College would be looking into the feasibility of housing 750 undergraduates in College Park. The general student body reaction was something along the lines of this:
Trips is an undeniably overwhelming experience for incoming Dartmouth students. This summer, '21s encountered countless new people in the span of just five short days.
With finals season fast approaching and Dartmouth students growing more stressed by the minute, it’s important to reflect. What has this term taught you? (How to use negative DBA.) How have you grown? (I’ve learned how to feel guilty about said DBA.)