The Top 5 Moments of Panic Bound to Occur Before a Pre-Rush Event

By Marguerite Irefin | 5/29/17 1:35pm

Girls’ rush is a process filled with … you see, that’s the problem — no one really knows. As ’20s, we begin to see guys flirting with brothers once the frat ban lifts, but for girls, rush is equal parts confusing, intimidating and a whole lot of mysterious. So when pre-rush events started popping up over spring term, one should not be shocked that extreme panic pursued. We went from being totally prepared to girl flirt fall term to having no idea what to do, how to act or most importantly, what to wear. So if you’ve ever wondered about the thought process that girls go through before a pre-rush event, here it is. 

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1. Why am I just realizing now that I have the worst wardrobe in the world?

Essentially everything in your closet is suddenly the ugliest thing you’ve ever seen. Is there a dress code for this event? When they say causal, do they really mean casual? Is wearing Lilly Pulitzer a requirement? All of these questions will go unanswered, you’ll frantically try to Amazon Prime something runway-worthy but realize that you only have 20 minutes to get ready. You’ll eventually put on the cutest thing you own, which you're thoroughly convinced won’t impress anyone. 

Courtesy of Disney via giphy.com

  

2. Do I have any fun facts about me? 

Trying to think of all the cool things you’ve done with your life probably boils down to that one night you shot gunned getting into Dartmouth, both of which everyone else has already experienced, too. You’ll worry about the other girls who have climbed Mount Everest, sailed around the world in 80 days and hooked up with that one super hot ’17. Wait a minute … if you hooked up with the rush chair’s lab partner’s best friend’s mutual friend’s teammate’s friend, are you going to get black listed? You’ll eventually decide that there’s nothing super interesting about you but make a mental note to do something really cool before fall rush. 

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3. They're going to ask me what classes I’m taking this term and, of course, I chose all the layups. Why am I the way I am?

Why oh why did I choose “Introduction to Basket Weaving,” you might ask yourself. Now all of these sisters are going to think that I can barely read and that I didn’t get the memo about academic rigor! And maybe if you’re beginning to question your major, you should just take the L and stick to the cop-out answer of being a sick econ bro sis (?). 

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4. Who the hell am I supposed to show up to this with?

Are ’shmobs frowned upon? This IS an event for freshman, after all. Will you look super interested and independent if you show up alone or like you have no friends? How enthusiastic should one be at the door? Is it a wave, shake, hug or dab situation? And do they expect you to sign in … oh God, are they taking attendance?! What side do name tags go on? What will you write — your nickname or your full name? All of your internal musings and doubts begin to spiral out of control — WAIT, DID I JUST SPELL MY NAME WRONG? 

Courtesy of New Line Cinema via giphy.com

  

5. Is this single event is how they're going to judge me for the rest of rush?

Is it possible to say something wrong? Wondering if they are going to watch your every move? Should you try to find the hidden cameras or just do your very best to be a semi-normal human at all times? Do they take notes on who they met afterward? What if you get something stuck in your teeth or were painfully awkward? Is this how they choose who gets a bid?  

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If you weren’t asking yourself these questions before, you probably will start asking yourself now. But don’t panic! I myself haven’t rushed yet so I can’t promise you anything, but I’m pretty sure these events aren’t as intense as you make them out to be in your head. A little girl flirting won’t kill you, and 9 times out of 10 there will be free food and at this point in the term, your DBA will thank you. 

Courtesy of Disney via giphy.com


Marguerite Irefin