50 Winter Terms

By Emma Chiu and Margaret Jones | 4/3/17 12:04pm

Ever since the rogue snowstorm that has transformed Dartmouth back into a winter wonderland hell danger zone, the fact that we are actually finished with week one of spring term seems like a far-off fantasy. Some shed tears in hopes of sunshine and warmer weather, while others reminisce on the fresh, crisp pow that graced the slopes of ski mountains just a few short weeks ago. However, no matter the outlook, 17S has appeared to be more of a 17W 2.0 — so why not try and relive your best self – winter term is always a peak time — in what seems to be “50 Winter Terms”. 

1. Cry. 

Columbia Pictures via giphy.com

2. Cry again. 

3. Snapchat story a picture of the temperature every day.

4. Actually go to your PE skiing class. 

5. Just kidding, we all know you hate to ski. 

Columbia Pictures via giphy.com

6. Feel bad because you think all Dartmouth students are obligated to enjoy skiing. 

7. Take another four-course term. #RIP

8. Drop another class. #RIP

9. Set your NRO to an A-. 

10. Set your NRO to a B+. 

11. Honestly, you’re probably not going to get above your NRO regardless. 

12. Feel lonely because all your friends are off again.

Columbia Pictures via giphy.com

13. Wonder why you chose to be in rural New Hampshire in the winter. 

14. Contemplate changing your D-Plan mid-term. 

15. Revel in what you thought was going to be an Atlanta Falcons victory in the Super Bowl before having your spirits crushed. 

16. Apply for only winter term FSPs. 

17. Decide to triple minor in Portuguese, astronomy and biology in order to ensure an FSP in Brazil, South Africa or Costa Rica.  

18. Show up to a random hockey game and throw a bunch of tennis balls.

19. Question why you walked down to Thompson Arena in the cold when, in reality, you don’t even like hockey that much. 

Columbia Pictures via giphy.com

20. Call a safe ride to get home because you’re #boujee.

21. Wear two frackets and a pair of frants (frat pants) out. 

22. Steal another fracket because you got cold. 

23. Take the longest possible route to get to class so you can maximize time inside. 

24. Jump in near-freezing water with 500 of your closest friends.

Columbia Pictures via giphy.com

25. Get the plague another 20 times.

26. And mono.

27. Never recover from illness. 

28. Post a Dartmouth Hall / Baker Tower winsta (winter insta). 

29. Convince your followers that being in the cold during the winter is both fun and aesthetically pleasing!

30. Cry when you realize rush has to happen again. 

31. Love your BIGZZZZZ even more!!!

Columbia Pictures via giphy.com

32. Relive Napkin Gate. 

33. Stage a protest at Foco. Bring back our individual napkins. 

34. Visit the Ice Castles. 

35. *Play music from Frozen*

36. Go skating on Occom Pond.

37. Take a picture and post it on Instagram to make sure all your friends know that you are #sporty but also a #fun #flirty #snowbunny.

Columbia Pictures via giphy.com

38. Do not post unless sporting your Hillflint class year sweater. 

39. Draw a Harry Potter scar on your forehead because ~blizzardry~. 

40. Carve an ice sculpture of your crush and present it to them. 

41. Wait for the snow to melt. Forever. 

Columbia Pictures via giphy.com 

42. Continue to talk about your New Year’s Resolutions – nobody knows you haven’t gone to the gym since Jan. 1!

43. Remember that it’s winter – who needs a bikini bod when you have pants and sweaters to hide it and keep you warm?

44. Attempt and fail to complete a Nordic skiing class. 

Columbia Pictures via giphy.com

45. Stage a snowball fight.

46. But do it on April 1. 

47. In reality, just stand and peg the professors that gave you below-median grades last term. 

48. Get hope back because it’s #cuffingszn again!

49. Continue to wonder what the hell a “szn” actually is, and embrace your lonely, sad life. 

Columbia Pictures via media.tenor.com

50. Realize you still don’t know where Brace Commons is. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


Emma Chiu

Margaret Jones