If Harry Potter Had First-Year Trips

By Cindy Zhu | 2/9/17 9:12pm

Dartmouth and Hogwarts share quite a few striking similarities — house communities, storied traditions and isolated locales play large roles in the culture of each institution. However, although Dartmouth and Hogwarts students know how to knock back a cold (Butter)beer, Hogwarts lacks an integral part of the Dartmouth experience: First-Year Trips. Given Hogwarts’ close proximity to the Forbidden Forest, young witches and wizards should get the opportunity to explore the wilderness the way incoming Dartmouth freshmen do every August. Here are some trips options for Hogwarts first-years interested in immersing themselves in nature:

1. Hippogriff Riding

Soar through the air on your very own hippogriff, watch your trippees flawlessly ride theirs, fall off a couple of times and realize that most of your trip has been recruited for the hippogriff equivalent of the equestrian team.

Warner Bros. via giphy.com

2. Broomstick Riding

Instead of mountain biking, Hogwarts trips includes broomstick riding because broomsticks are essentially magical bikes. Take in the beauty surrounding Hogwarts as you zip around the Castle, weaving past the Whomping Willow and across the Wooden Bridge. Unfortunately, your calves won’t be nearly as defined as they would be if you were to bike through the forest.

3. Organic Farming

Head over to Hogwarts’ own O-Farm run by elves and learn the basics of magical farming by tending to dirigible plums, pungous onions and Chinese chomping cabbage. Cooking is much faster when you have self-peeling sprouts and trip leaders who know all the cooking charms!

4. Trailwork

Bring your earplugs, because you and your trippees are pulling out the mandrakes that line the trails that cabin campers breeze through during the day. You also better be SWOLE AF, because gnomes have infested the gardens and gnome-control consists of grabbing the gnome, swinging it around until it’s dizzy and throwing it as far as you can.

Bless you for picking trailwork. May Dumbledore smile down upon your house.

Warner Bros. via giphy.com

6. Hiking 1-4

Hiking 1:

For the average NARP wizard.

Venture into the Forbidden Forest for a light hike.

Hiking 2:

For the slightly less NARP-y wizard.

Venture into the Forbidden Forest for a slightly more strenuous hike.

Hiking 3:

For the crunchy wizard.

Venture into the Forbidden Forest for a pretty exhausting hike.

Hiking 4:

For only recruited Quidditch players and the crunchiest wizards.

Venture into the Forbidden Forest, fight the entire acromantula colony led by Aragog, find your way through the Triwizard Maze and take Fluffy for a walk. Easy.

7. Cabin Camping

For the NARP-iest of wizards: hike (well, more like briefly wander around) the flat trails of the Forbidden Forest during the day and spend the night in Hagrid’s hut as he cooks you and your trippees some rock cake. Unluckier trip sections stay the night in the Shrieking Shack.

8. Inferi

Although students could easily go fishing for freshwater plimpies à la Luna Lovegood, Hogwarts ups the adventure by taking first-years out to the cave island where R.A.B. hid his fake horcrux and having them fish for Inferi. The constant risk of death from being dragged into water while reeling them in really brings trippees together!

Warner Bros. via cinemablend.com

9. Nature Photography

THE PICTURES MOVE. THINK OF ALL THE POSSIBILITIES.

Warner Bros. via giphy.com


Cindy Zhu