Was it Worth the -Cest?

By Mark Dominguez | 1/22/17 1:13pm

Ahhh, good ol’ Dartmouth, where our very obvious hookup culture can invade nearly any aspect of our lives. Whether you’re in FoCo and a past hookup (or three) is filling his or her drink next to you, being assigned to a group project with a recent dfmo (dance floor make-out) or stepping out of office hours and seeing that person who ghosted you after you failed to DTR (define the relationship), it’s easy to be a bit uncomfortable and on-edge all the times. But what about when a hookup falls into a “cest” category? We’ve all heard about the classic example of “floor-cest” and how much of a disaster that could be – why not delve into the potential results and see if your hookup was really worth the “-cest?”

Dreamworks via giphy.com


Floor-Cest 

What it is: Though this type of -cest isn’t necessarily as bad if it’s any floor after freshman year (because let’s be honest, after that year no one is going to floor meetings, and no one is trying to bond through the awkwardness that is your first year at college), it can still be a bit uncomfortable to see your hookup leave his or her room when you’re walking from the shower in your towel wrap.

Why you did it: Maybe you caught the loving glimpse of your floormates eyes glistening in your direction. Though you know it’s going to be awkward after regardless, at least you have the comfort of knowing your walk of shame will only be about eight feet back across the hall to your room. Once it’s done, however, the whole floor will most definitely know, and floor meetings will never again be the same.

Was it worth it: Probably not – just wait a year, ’20s.

Would you do it again: Probably not, but if you did, it would definitely be during the winter to stay warm.

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Trip-Cest

What it is: You really have no excuse to act naïve with this one – H-Croo makes sure to tell you the singular “Golden Rule of Dartmouth” straight out the gate during the ~Safety Talk~ before trips. And don’t even get me started on trip-leaders committing trip-cest with their trippees. DON’T DO IT.

Why you did it: Being in the woods for a few days with someone who is questionably attractive makes them automatically more attractive on principle. You can’t keep them out of your mind, and they’re the only reason you ever made it through Hiking 4. Whether it was a romantic night in the woods or a spontaneous reunion at Highlighter dance party when you’re back on campus, your night was filled with fond memories of the Salty Dog Rag on Robo Lawn.

Was it worth it: Trip-cest might seem like it’s worth it in the moment, but fast forward to how awkward your trip reunion FoCo dinners are going to be and you might regret it.

Would you do it again: Drunk you says yes, sober you says no. Bonus points if you managed to pull it off during trips and back on campus, though.

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FSP-Cest

What it is: On the surface, this -cest doesn’t seem quite as bad as the other ones. When you’re abroad, any interaction that takes place outside of a frat basement can be perceived as romantic. After all, your FSP ground is supposed to ~bond~, right?

Why you did it: It’s definitely a cool experience to be in another country – why not have some fun with it and really take your experience to the next level?

Was it worth it: Though things may become awkward if either party doesn’t know how to handle what happened afterwards, there’s no need to fret, as things will be fine when your term abroad ends. FSP-cest is definitely worthwhile if you’re longing for that special someone to fill the void in your heart while away for 10 weeks. Tread carefully, though – during certain FSPs like the “Stretch,” the closeness of trip groups can cause major awkwardness during long car rides.  

Would you do it again: Probably. You never know when you might get back to campus and see each other, getting caught up in a reminisce of your magical time in Europe.

TBS via imgur.com


Club-Cest 

What it is: Canoodling with that cutie in your performance group, sports team or extracurricular club. I mean, you’re already spending so much time together – you never know how they might feel about you!

Why you did it: Obviously, you share some common interest – maybe you share one in each other.

Was it worth it: This one can also get really awkward. Are you noticing the trend here? Imagine being in an a cappella group and having to rehearse six hours a week, standing in an arc with a one-night stand, who also happens to be your friend and fellow singer. Aca-cest? No thank you. If that’s not a convincing argument, I don’t know what is. Not worth it.

Would you do it again: Maybe with another club member – and you’ll regret it all over again.

 

CBS via giphy.com


Friend-Cest

What it is: Friends with benefits – enough said.

Why you did it: You thought this was an exception to the rule of “it’s gonna be awkward, don’t give in” – and with good reason. You know not to do it with your best friend unless you absolutely know you’re going to be dating immediately afterward. If not, you would damage your friendship. On the other hand, it’s your friend that you see around and aren’t “besties” with, you gotta go for it – things could end up for the better! However, if things end up for the worst, your mutual friends will know, every interaction will be awkward, and you can *kiss* chances of being comfortable with him or her goodbye – literally!

Was it worth it: Analyze the risk/reward (you’re probably studying econ, you can do this) and really see how your friend would feel about it. You never know if they’re in the same dilemma as you!

Would you do it again: Maybe, if you’re desperate. Or if things work out.

Paramount Pictures via giphy.com

Hopefully you’ve noticed that most of these cases are not recommended. I mean, the taboo of “-cest” isn’t exactly the most positive suffix to tack onto another word. Any hookup can be awkward after the fact, but these have a much higher chance of making you walk around with your head down, avoiding your once-friend because duh… you can’t really avoid spending more time around the person you hooked up with if you see them on the reg. When it comes to any –cest, it’s all up to your own judgement – whether level-headed or slightly impaired. 


Mark Dominguez