If You Could Borrow Direct Things in Real Life

By Yadira Torres | 1/31/17 1:28pm

Is there something you can’t find at Dartmouth that you wish you could have? Ever thought about taking BorrowDirect for a spin to fulfill some of the many voids in your life?

Snow

Winter Carnival is almost here ... but the snow is not. How are we supposed to deal with the mostly unbearable cold weather if there is no snow to ski and sled on, let alone build a sculpture? However, if we all make a collective effort to request some snow from other schools, maybe we’ll have enough for the College to sponsor a snow sculpture. #LestTheOldTraditionsFail

Sorry if we return the snow smelling of stale Keystone and littered with odd pieces of flair, Cornell!

20th Television via giphy.com

Chipotle

Need I say more? Harvard has SIX chipotles within reasonable distance of their campus.

With all the dining options Cambridge boasts, letting us BorrowDirect one Chipotle for a few weeks should not be a problem. In return, they can take one of the three(?) Thai places we have (who knew the Upper Valley needed so much Thai?). I mean, seriously, can we really move Dartmouth forward with a dire lack of sofritas bowls in Hanover? I think not.

Courtesy of New Line Cinema via giphy.com

New dignity after XHighlighter/Pop Punk/TDXmas

We all know the feeling. Waking up at the crack of noon on Sunday (Friday?) after this week’s ~rager~, still wearing last night’s spandex and groaning over the sour taste of whatever you drank last night lingering in your taste buds. As you check your Snapchat story, bits and pieces of last night come rushing back to your still-groggy brain. After deleting the 20 snaps you posted — each one more incoherent than the last — you log into BorrowDirect. I wonder how long your new dignity will take to get here?

(Note: the answer is never soon enough)

Courtesy of Bravo via giphy.com

Another KAF window/another halfway-decent coffee establishment

Everyone loves KAF. Even those select people who say they don’t like KAF secretly love it. (For those poor souls still on the 20 who haven’t stepped foot into KAF yet, here are a few suggestions on what to order when you do. It’s about time.) Regardless of your views on KAF, however, a third ordering window would make the risky, between-10s-and-11s chocolate milk with a shot run a lot less perilous. Or, maybe another coffee chain could set up shop for some healthy, capitalistic competition. C’mon – Columbia probably has the most ~hip~ and ~cool~ coffee shops, they can totally lend us one for a bit!

Courtesy of 20th Television via giphy.com

A Life

Maybe you’re taking four classes. Maybe you’re a sick premed bro. Maybe you’re one of those daunting ’20s who think that Chemistry 10/Computer Science 10/Math 11 is a doable course load. Maybe you’re a SWUG who is looking for a care to give motivation. Whatever your predicament, take a stab at borrowing a life for a little bit. You’ll need it. That being said...

Courtesy of Walt Disney via giphy.com

An Extra Week

Ten-week terms are hard enough as it is. Why is winter term only nine weeks? And by nine weeks I mean eight-and-a-half weeks of actual class. Paging PH ’77, how would you feel if you had to cram a year’s worth of orgo into 60 days? Why do we have such a short quarter system? Even Brown has 15 week terms. Do better, Dartmouth. #academicrigor

Courtesy of Paramount Pictures via giphy.com

A Valentine’s Day Date

With Valentine’s Day coming in hot, how about requesting a date to flaunt at Pine? Or take them out to one of the many potentially romantic DDS establishments? Maybe the creepy kid from your math class will stop asking you out to lunch if they see you out and about with a significant other. An artsy, angsty soul from Brown, a driven, slightly unhinged Wharton undergrad or a ... nice ... Cornell person. Who knows, maybe you’ll end up renewing them for a few more weeks.

Courtesy of 20th Television via giphy.com


Yadira Torres

yadira.g.torres.19@dartmouth.edu