6 Ways to Console Your Southern Friends During Winter

By Samuel Fox | 1/19/17 5:30pm

As you can probably attest to, New England winters can be tough – even for those students who grew up in and around the Northeast. However, sometimes we fail to consider what the cold and snowy winter means for Dartmouth students from the South, who spent years and years getting days off for less than an inch or two of snow. In fact, your very own southern friend just might be finding it extremely hard to cope with the pain and suffering that 17W has brought, despite the lack of actual cold and prodigal amounts of snow. But don’t fret, my friends, for there are ways in which you can ease their winter woes and help them adjust to the concept of a real winter season.

1)    Don’t Let Them Forget About the Sun

Under no circumstances should you let their room go dark. When they turn off the lights to go to sleep, turn them right back on and remind them that they need this – the light that they would otherwise get from the sun is important!

 What you should really do:

Take them to visit the happy sun lamps in the Wellness Center or Carson – be sure they aren’t depriving themselves of UV light, which could result in Seasonal Affective Disorder. The days are longer, and the sun shines a bit brighter when you’re closer to the equator, and the early Hanover sunsets might take some getting used to – just don’t hesitate to remind them that yes, the days are actually getting longer!

Universal Pictures via giphy.com

2)    Crank Up the Heat

Turn up the thermostat in their room until you can’t turn it up any more – soon any dilapidated old dorm will feel like the tropics! Listen to the ~bumping~ beat your radiator is cranking out and just throw a Florida-themed dorm rager while you’re at it! And if they beg to leave their newfound sauna of a room, don’t forget that a true friend would be dedicated to the cause: follow them around with a cordless hairdryer to continue to mitigate the harsh wind-chill on your way to the library.

What you should really do:

Utilize all possible warm-cuts. There is no time like the present to enter the one building on campus that always looked mysterious to you. Be sure to guide your southern friend through every building that you can in order to maximize defrosting time. Invest in a couple of frackets for going out and perfect the art of ~layering.~ And even better yet, just avoid the outdoors at all costs.

Nickelodeon via giphy.com

3)    Bring the Beach to Them

Help your southern friend reminisce about the times spent laying out on the beach in North Carolina by filling their entire bed with sand! After a long, difficult day of classes, your friend can settle cozily into bed, allowing fond memories of the year-round warmth to come rushing back. There’s nothing like a pleasant sand-filled bed to remind southerners of exactly what they’re missing out on back home.

What you should really do:

If they just can’t possibly wait for Alpha Chi’s Beach Party during Winter Carnival, take them to Occom Pond to ice skate or lug them on the bus and go skiing at the Skiway. Frolicking in the snow is almost as fun as frolicking at the beach! Show your friend how fun winter activities can be – expose them to all the things they can’t do during the ‘cold months’ in their temperate hometown.

Warner Bros. via giphy.com

4)    Dump Their Winter Clothes

No shoes, no shirt, no service winter! Make sure your southern friend only has summer clothes to wear outside so that every time they go to bundle up for warmth, they are reminded that back home, layering wasn’t even a thing!

What you should really do:

Help your friend with finding items and brands of clothing work that best for the cold weather. Be there to make sure they don’t get too cold and offer plenty of KAF breaks – they need the warm drinks to stop them freezing from the inside-out.

via giphy.com

5)    Acclimate Them to the Snow

Throw a perfectly-formed snowball right at your southern friend’s face to condition them to the cold and get them into the winter spirit! They’ll be used to the bitter temperatures that a real winter brings after their face is numb from your snowy ambush.

What you should really do:

Have a fun (read: mutually aware-of) snowball fight or go sledding at Hanover Country Club. Take cute pictures in the snow so your Southern friend can show all their high school friends at home how pretty and wintery the strange concept of snow is – there’s no time like the present for a first #winsta (winter insta). Bonus points your friend’s social media presence makes it seem like the snow isn’t even cold or troublesome, and that it’s just there to make the campus look nice. Frozen lyrics always work nicely for captions.

 

New Line Cinema via giphy.com

6)    Hugs

Everyone knows the best way to keep your southern friend warm is by hugging them tight every chance you get. You might not be able to stop the cold weather on the outside, but you sure can warm their heart with perseverance, support and lots of love!

What you should really do: 

This. 

Kid President via giphy.com


Samuel Fox