By The Numbers: Four Weeks of 14X
You may be familiar with the monthly Harper’s Index — a well-researched, legitimate list of pithy statistics documenting life around the world.
This is not the Harper’s Index. But since we’re more than a month into sophomore summer, I feel that it’s time to look back on what students at Dartmouth have accomplished so far in our own, newly-minted Dartbeat index. I’m not a math major, so some of these stats may be a tiny bit off, but believe me when I say that they’re based on solid observational evidence.
Dartbeat’s Sophomore Summer Index
Average number of classes I imagine my peers are taking: 2.4
Number of items on my Sophomore Summer bucket list: 53
Number of bucket list items I have accomplished: 10
Number of bucket lists I have actually written down: 0
Average number of daylight hours I spend sleeping: 6
Average daily hours spent outside: 5
Average weekly hours of motivation: -4
Percent of undergraduates I suspect have acquired illegitimate air conditioners: 47
Percent of undergraduates I imagine are suffering from heat regardless: 100
Chance that I’m at the river (natural watercourse): 1 in 4
Chance that I’m at the River (unnatural cluster): 0
Factor by which I am less likely to do my readings this summer than during previous terms: 5.7
Bikes I have purchased: 1
Percent increase in on-time arrivals since purchasing a bike: 58
Times I’ve been caught biking in the rain: 4
Number of cups of gelato consumed: 7
Number of hikes completed: 3
Number of berries picked: 462
Number of meals cooked: 28
Percent of my friends who have mooched off my cooking: 41
Instagram photos taken: 14
Instagram filters used in said photos: 3
Different words including a capital “X” seen in albums on my Facebook feed: 6
Percent of ’16s who I’d guesstimate are refusing to believe this term will ever end: 90