Once upon a time, before Lauren and May had gained 20 pounds in EBAs pizza weight, had said farewell to their high school days of academic glory and were on the wrong (or right?) side of the X (the sexist notion that women get less attractive and men more desirable as our time at the College wears on), we were naive rising freshmen looking for advice. We asked: Are tutus acceptable everyday attire? Why is it spelled “Croo”? Will I ever make friends if I’m not a Facebook celebrity? Is raging a good or a bad thing?
If there's anything we learned upon arriving at Dartmouth, it is that there's such a thing as bad advice. Our mothers advised us to use Tide pods for laundry; our fathers told us never to trust guys with American flags instead of curtains hung up in their rooms (actually, this came in pretty handy), and one alumnus even told one of us to line her trash cans in preparation for long and inevitable nights of booting. Maybe our parents are just big children, or maybe we were asking the wrong questions. But fear not, you wee babes, for there is no such thing as a wrong (or dumb) question in this year’s freshman Mirror.
Consider us the Mr. Miyagis of Dartmouth: We will tell you where to wax on and where to wax off. We will (try to) make college food edible, help you look your best in your finest flair, and — for our final crane kick — pass along some sage advice from those who’ve managed to survive three years at our College on the hill.