Accomplishments
Finishing two terms of orgo without failing.
Becoming comfortable in my own skin since freshman year and coming to believe that I AM beautiful and that I AM smart enough to be at Dartmouth.
Rising above my grades.
One time I found a $20 bill on the floor in North Mass... that was pretty sweet.
Proud of finding my voice at Dartmouth and finding a medium to use my voice to stand up for issues I’m passionate about.
I almost failed calculus (had a 54 during midterms), but spent four hours on it (outside of class) EVERY SINGLE DAY for the second part of term, totally ignored my social life and managed to get an A-. I honestly never thought I could manage that.
Hiking El Camino, a 500 mile trail across the entirety of Spain.
Summitting Mount Kilimanjaro.
I tried something totally out of my comfort zone: DOC spring break trips freshman year. Best decision I’ve made since coming to Dartmouth.
I led an amazing trip for the ’19s!
I biked across the country!
Finding all my internships on my own, without using parents.
I finally worked up the courage to confront my abusive mother and learn how to take care of myself.
Only booting twice during all of 15X.
I was able to help children in need stay in school in Colombia by buying them their school uniforms.
I finished an entire paint-by-number.
Working three jobs in order to buy myself my first car.
Never pulled an all-nighter.
I can wake up early these days, and I feel like I have the energy to go to classes. I am not feeling depressed as I was in the last spring but didn’t admit to myself.
In May I got named one of Quora’s Top Writers for 2015.
Getting my thesis approved!
Finding all my internships on my own, without using parents.
Surviving spring term not having been home for a year.
Running two half-marathons.
Spending a summer in London without looking like a tourist.
Getting into Dartmouth.
Getting an offer to my current internship.
A very good citation from summer term. Proved to myself that I could turn things around. Realized my potential.
Fears
I’m afraid that my best friends are distancing themselves from me because I’m not as happy as I used to be.
Graduating.
What do I do with a degree in government again?
I fear having regrets, not about what I’ve done, but about what I haven’t done
That all my friends will have jobs and I’ll be broke and unemployed.
Fall term classes.
In-season workouts.
I worry that I’ll never have a sense of community like I have here after I leave school. What if this is the best things will ever be?
I fear that I will not live up to my potential.
Having the same year every year.
Homesickness.
I fear losing the people closest to me.
I’m afraid that giving in and deciding to rush as a junior is symbolic of my abandonment of my core values in favor of assimilation and happiness.
Going to FoCo for the first time this term.
Not getting in to grad school because of my grades here.
I have gone through a lot of emotional turmoil in the last year, and I realized that I don’t fear anything. I came through what the world threw at me and I will continue to do so.
I am dreading fulfilling my lab distribs.
I am dreading seeing my grades at the end of this term and likely being taken down a few notches.
My biggest fear about Dartmouth is that I won’t be able to find any sweet tea.
Not learning from and repeating my mistakes of the past year.
I am afraid that I won’t be able to do as well here at Dartmouth as I did in high school, because here I am surrounded by people just as accomplished as I am.
I fear my inner insecurities tainting the relationships that I have and cherish with people. I also fear that in the process of looking to the future and having things to worry about, I’ll forget the things I have already achieved and learned.
I’m afraid that my career and my passions will conflict.
Water shortages due to global warming in the next 30 years — meaning my kids might have to wait in line for water.
Aging.
Completely switching to a new minor and anxious about trying to work it into my schedule. Also dreading job search. Always.
Hopes
I hope that I can start to like school more and my faith in Dartmouth will come back.
I hope that one day I can love who I am as a person, not with respect to anything or anyone else.
Looking forward to re-connecting with friends while ending my time at Dartmouth on a high note.
I’m really looking forward to Homecoming, and standing around the Bonfire with my whole class, the rest of the school and even the alums. It’s magical.
Living in the same room all three terms!
Trying the Dartmouth Seven with Phil’s new floodlights.
To do something that helps the world in some way.
I can’t wait for SENIOR YEAR and to solidify some of the amazing friendships that I’ll take with me after graduation.
Running a marathon.
Learning cool s--t this term.
Getting my book published.
I’m looking forward to joining a sorority.
Going to Italy next term.
Being at Dartmouth for three more years :)
I hope that Dartmouth will change, the old traditions will fail and we’ll end up with a much happier campus because of it.
I’m looking forward to my father getting out of prison in a year.
I am looking forward to pulling all nighters talking to other people excited about changing the world. I hope that I find my place at Dartmouth and that I find a group of people I belong to.
Snow.
I hope that at the end of this year, I will have found a place for myself at Dartmouth with numerous friends I can count on and organizations I’m proud to be a part of.
Looking forward to seeing what is out there in the real world.
Becoming better friends with my neighbor.
I’m looking forward to joining a sorority.
I’m looking forward to my father getting out of prison in a year.
I hope that I will work harder and smarter for my classes this year!
I’m looking forward to helping many more people in need.
Having all of my friends in the same place.
I am looking forward to learning how to code in Java this term.
I want to cuddle more.
Sleep!
Regrets
I didn’t eat enough Hop during spring term before it closed for the summer.
Wasting my time trying to fit in with people who were never going to accept me for who I was, and taking too long to find the people who do :)
I regret not working hard enough.
I lashed out at a friend because I felt insecure about my relationship with them.
Not singing in the shower more often.
Not speaking up for something I really wanted sooner.
Everything I haven’t done at Dartmouth.
Not setting higher standards for my relationships with the opposite sex.
I regret that I tried to be someone I was not freshman fall — you don’t have to go out every night to find happiness here.
Smoking. Trying to quit.
Never studying off-campus.
I wish I had been more relaxed during 15S.
I still let people walk all over me before I take care of myself, but I’m getting better at that. Not that I’m not going to still help people, but I need to make sure that it’s not at the expense of my wellbeing.
I wish I had tried more different intro classes freshman year and sophomore year. By sophomore year, I was already totally on track for my majors, and I think I missed out on finding some of my interests.
Not making the most of my FSP.
Not valuing friendships or keeping them alive.
I took CHEM 5 freshman fall. It is my only regret.
Smoking an entire pack of cigarettes at BG paint party
I regret not letting my dad be a bigger part of my childhood.
Not taking CS 1.
Not being more generous.
Not communicating well enough with my younger brother.
Not bothering to speak more Mandarin when I was a kid.
I regret not working hard enough.
Not dedicating enough time for self-love and self-care.
I wish I had tried more different intro classes freshman year and sophomore year. By sophomore year, I was already totally on track for my majors, and I think I missed out on finding some of my interests.
I regret not really appreciating the time I had with my family this past summer before I left for college.
I should’ve auditioned for/joined more stuff as a freshman and been less scared to take risks and get outside my own comfort zone.
Why on earth did I choose to live in a single by myself?