Just because there’s no placement test for “Dartspeak” doesn’t mean that students of the College haven’t developed our own form of communication, and as with any language, Dartspeak cannot be mastered until one lives alongside those who speak it.
You will surely learn every one of these words within your first few weeks on campus, but until then, let me welcome you with a crash course in speaking like a true Dartmouth student. Don’t worry if it looks a bit foreign now. By the end of the fall you’ll be asking your grandmother to blitz you instead of calling because self-call but that facetimey UGA from Fahey just asked to borrow some flair for tackiez tonight, and if you want to rally later you’ll have to finish that midterm for your 10A.
@now: A common phrase when time is of the utmost importance. It’s used to grab attention and highlight the fact that something is currently happening at that exact moment. Blitz: The name Dartmouth students use instead of email. Can be used as a noun-- — “check your blitz” -— or as a verb- — “can you blitz me the notes from Thursday?” Many students have been known to blitz instead of texting or even in place of real human contact. Popular with professors, administrators and nearly anyone associated with Dartmouth.
-cests: A simple suffix that can be tacked on to nearly any word to describe coupling off or hooking up within a group. Your first experiences with this term will likely include rumors of “tripcest” or “floorcest.”
Crunchy: An adjective used to describe the outdoorsy students that are seen sporting Birkenstocks or playing Frisbee on the Green. Rarely equipped with razors, you’ll find these students on the first floor of Robinson Hall (Robo), looking like a character from a Gary Paulsen novel.
DDS: Dartmouth Dining Services. The food services that you will either grow to love or hate during your four years at Dartmouth.
Drill: Dartmouth’s sometimes painful system for teaching new languages that involves waking up at 7:45. Led by another Dartmouth student, drill primarily focuses on speaking and listening skills. Don’t worry, you only have to take it during the first few classes in each language.
EBA’s: One of the only places open past 10 p.m. in Hanover, this late-night pizza restaurant takes orders until 2:10 a.m. Their strategy is ideal, though, since their pizza tastes better the later it gets.
Facetime(y): To put it simply, facetime means being seen by as many people as possible, and can be obtained by attending popular campus events, studying on the first floor of the library or just generally occupying other public spaces on campus. Popular areas for facetime include the dark side of FoCo, large lecture courses and the Collis porch.
FFB: The first floor of Berry Library. One of the more social, facetimey places to study. Sit here and pretend like you are actually getting work done while actually scrolling through Buzzfeed.
Flair: Obnoxiously tacky and bright clothing whose only purpose is to make the wearer look even more ridiculous. Often worn to parties around campus, its appropriateness in other situations is a hotly debated issue among students.
FoCo: Short for “Food Court,” this is the only acceptable way of speaking about the all-you-can-eat dining hall on campus. It should never be referred to by its official name, the “Class of 1953 Commons.”
Good Sam: A College policy that allows you to get help from S&S for a friend who is highly intoxicated without either of you facing disciplinary action.
HPo: Hanover Police. Avoid HPo. Historically not as forgiving to Dartmouth students as S&S is.
Ledyard Challenge: A tried and true tradition that involves stripping down on the New Hampshire side of the Connecticut River and swimming across to Vermont before running back over the bridge in your birthday suit. It’s illegal. You’ve been warned.
S&S: Safety and Security is Dartmouth’s campus security. Avoid them when walking back to the River cluster from frat row.
Self-call: When someone tries to brag about their own accomplishments. Freshmen who don’t know any better self-call about SAT scores and being student council president. Don’t do this.
Shmob: A mixture of “freshman” and “mob,” these packs of ’18s abound in the early weeks of the term.
The Dartmouth Seven: A bucket list of seven public places on campus to do something a little less public. They are the stacks, the Top of the Hop, the 50-yard line, the Green, the BEMA, the President’s lawn and the steps of Dartmouth Hall
Townie: Generally used to describe the residents of Hanover. Extends to anyone living within 30 miles of the College.
Trippee: A loving term of endearment that refers to a member of your Dartmouth Outing Club first-year trip.
Touching the Fire: When a freshman tries touch the giant bonfire in the center of the Green during Homecoming. Before you strap on your oven mitts and running shoes, though, know that it’s completely illegal and dangerous. Hanover Police will be awaiting you on the other side.
UGA: Acronym for undergraduate advisor. A UGA is an upperclassman on your freshman floor who helps you with any problems you may face in the trials and tribulations of College life. The rough equivalent of an “RA” or residential advisor at most other schools.
