Top 5 Ways We Would Modify Dartmouth's Biggest Traditions
- Bring the Keg Jump back. Have you seen the YouTube videos?
- Haze the crap out of the freshmen by forcing them to run around a giant bonfire. Oh wait...
- Move Winter Carnival to the summer, Brazil-style. In preparation, build a beach off of the Connecticut River to accompany it.
- Green Key nope, we wouldn't change a thing.
- Insert a new big weekend just for upperclassmen during Orientation week, comprising several days of absolutely nothing and culminating in a school-wide Capture the Melon competition. Free T-shirts for all!