So that was 08X. Sure, there's one weekend left, and the last few days of classes, but it's pretty much over. Summer is so over that there isn't even going to be another issue of The Dartmouth Mirror to remind us that it's over. It's tough, I know.
I've learned a lot this summer. Matt Cohen '10 and Ben Bier '10 taught me to sail. If you didn't take P.E. sailing, you missed out on one of the coolest things ever. But fear not, I'm sure that Towny Swiggett '10 will be happy to give you some pointers. I heard he sailed to Bermuda.
Terry Cooper taught me to play tennis, although I am still incapable of putting a serve in that tiny box. He also taught me quite a bit about Russian history, and everyone in the class can tell you the exact story behind the Boss Tennis Center. Especially Allie Rodman '10. If you're curious, ask her.
I may have even learned a thing or two in my classes this term. I'll let you know after grades come out.
I learned a lot about fellow sports columnist Ryan Karr '09. In case you missed it, he is so crazy about orange Tic-Tacs that he knocked up Juno. He also seems to have a massive crush on Michael Phelps, or at least some sort of fraternity brother man-crush. Fraternity brother is accurate in this case as we all know what house Phelps would be in if he went to Dartmouth.
I've learned a lot of things this summer while watching the Olympics. For example, never comment that a girl in an international sporting event is attractive until you have been informed of her age. And no, I'm not talking about that 13-year-old Chinese girl. That would be disgusting.
Like the rest of the world, I learned that Michael Phelps is the Tiger Woods or Lance Armstrong of swimming. That he is a crazy, superhuman freak capable of eating 12,000 calories a day. Imagine seeing him in FoCo ordering a triple-meal deal of General Tso's, two orders of nuggets and three quarts of milk. DDS would have a chance of turning a profit and nobody would even consider cutting funding for the swimming and diving team ever again.
I learned a lot of things about Dartmouth athletes, too. For one, it turns out that all of the random things I made up about Dartmouth athletes were true. Or true enough. Also, it turns out that lots of Big Green athletes do really cool things over the summer. Not that I didn't know this already, but apparently ESPN found out this week, so that's pretty cool. Check out the column on Koren Schram '09 on ESPN.com, the author is completely awestruck.
It was probably difficult not to learn that Dartmouth has several athletes competing in the Olympics.We on campus can joke all we want about how awful our sports teams are, but keep in mind that a ton of the men and women of the Big Green are competing at an international level. You probably also just learned or are soon to learn that Dartmouth women's lacrosse had several former players, and a current player, selected for the U.S. national team pool. I know I did.
I learned that there is a lot of excitement around campus for the next few seasons of Big Green football. This is a topic I've talked about a few times in this space, but Dartmouth is going to be good this year. Really, go to the games and feel free to shoot an angry Blitz my way if you're disappointed.
Finally, I've learned a few things about myself this summer. For example, I'm still awful at soccer. I probably should have used the fact that the last soccer team I played on was 0-11-1 and didn't score a goal the entire year as an excuse to not play for my house's IM soccer team, but I went out and embarrassed myself anyway.
I also learned that the farther from the gym I live in a given term, the less likely it is that I go. So I guess it's no wonder that Heorots are in such good shape; they just have to go across the street.
Finally, I just recently learned that if you are from Iowa and win a medal in gymnastics in the Olympics, they make a statue of you out of butter. Unfortunately, being from Michigan and being far too tall to ever be good at gymnastics will prevent me from ever having my own butter statue. Still, it's something I wish I would have shot for.
This column probably didn't bring any closure to your sophomore summer experience, but you still have one weekend. Live it up, enjoy the fall and I'll see you all in the winter.
