Ah yes, the infamous gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (queer, questioning, curious, fluid, etc.) dating scene at Dartmouth. While many may be so bold as to say that GBLT romance at Dartmouth is the same as heterosexual romance, I beg to differ. I have found many differences between the two worlds, and while my perspective is only from the "G" side, I have a feeling that it transcends to the rest of the anagram as well.
To start, Dartmouth is home to the infamous chart of attractiveness. As almost every person on this campus knows, for some reason males are perceived as more attractive as they age at Dartmouth, while females lose their social sexual status. This, of course, leaves sophomore summer as the ideal time for heterosexuals to fornicate (and court, of course), as they finally find themselves on equal playing fields for the first and only time in their college careers. Congratulations, we are all equally unattractive at the moment.
Yet the GLBT scene at Dartmouth is not restricted by the same chart. As the majority of us are interested in the same gender as our own, we are constantly as awkward/attractive as the rest! In fact, in the gay male world, you quickly discover that you're attractive as a young frosh (fresh meat), and equally attractive, albeit in a different way, as an experienced upperclassmen. Talk about the best of both worlds!
Now don't get too happy for us yet. While many of my friends insist that gay men must get more "love" than anyone else, I would hardly say that is the case. While it is assumed that we're quick to jump into bed (I mean, we're all guys, where's the issue?), easy hook-ups are hardly the reality. I'm not saying people are opposed, just that it's harder than it may seem.
The greatest issue in general for the GLBT community here is a lack of numbers. It is, put simply, hard to find a partner of any sort when there are slim pickings. And trust me, there are slim pickings. The fact that only 25 percent of the campus remains on this term makes that even more difficult. There is still hope -- the Men's U-23 Crew Team, for example (OK, not really, but a boy can dream!) -- and with other schools out for summer, all those (two) gay Hanover High grads have finally become an option! Yeah, there's really not much helping out there.
The one true saving grace would be the "newbies," as we lovingly call them. Sophomore summer is a common time for people who have remained in the closet for their first two years at college to start cracking (or flinging) open that closet door. Perhaps it is the fact that there are less people on campus to come out to, or that these individuals have finally become settled enough in their roles on campus that they do not fear the social stigma, but summer is the most common time, save Orientation, for your fellow classmates to let you know that they've been hooking up with their own gender for the past few years and not telling anyone.
Once you have numbers, you get into the actual attraction. Let's throw out some math. Say in the given population, a whopping 50 percent of people are attractive individuals. Then, say that 15 percent are very attractive. Let's face it -- those are very generous percentages. According to my knowledge, there are about twenty men who are attracted to men on this campus (and that includes a few leftover '08s). Using mere mathematics, there are three hot men, and seven more men who are just OK. Now factor in personal attractive preference, personality, etc. You are left with maybe one person that you'd be happy to date, and at most three that you'd settle for. If you're lucky, one of them might feel the same way about you.
So, although some of you might joke about the lack of options for your heterosexual love life this summer, just consider the alternative. One of my friends, out of desperation, joked about placing this personal ad in The D:
"GWM (20, 5'11", 154, brown eyes & hair) seeks attractive, smart, fun, athletic, & romantic guy. Interests: Latin America, cricket, cars, indie music, & long walks on the beach. Must deal with: my D-plan (off '08W&X), the Psi U basement (pong skills are essential!), and my puppy (vote for Argus on petduel.com)".
Mind you, this is a great guy who in other places (think civiliztion, cities) could easily find this. But I'd give it a one in a million chance that there's anything even close to what he's looking for on this campus during the regular year -- and slim to none he'll find it over sophomore summer.
I wish you all happy hunting, and the best of luck to you in the GLBT world. (You'll need it.)
Signing off,
The Doctor of Love
