The Berry Sports Center was once again bumpin' on Wednesday night as both the Dartmouth men's and women's squash teams handed thorough beatings to Amherst and Williams. The Big Green men triumphed over Amherst 7-2 and filleted the Purple Cows 6-3. The lady squashers pulled off slightly more impressive victories with an 8-1 thrashing of Williams and a 9-0 walk over Amherst. All in all, it was a beautiful day for the Dartmouth squash dynasty.
For the Dartmouth lady squashers, senior Charlotte Haldeman and freshman Julia Drury had an easy time at the top of the ladder as both won their matches at Nos. 1 and 2, respectively. The rest of the team dominated as well, only dropping one match in 18.
After the match, Haldeman was giddy with excitement and confessed that the team had "turned the Purple Cows into itty-bitty beef patties," and would be serving the meat to Trinity's squad this Saturday.
Wednesday's triumph left the Dartmouth women with a 5-1 record on the season.
The Big Green men also shined on Wednesday as golden boy Ryan Donegan '05, Tim Vipond '05, Henry Alexander '06, Adam Slutsky '06, Chris O'Connell '04 and Will Hiltz '05 all won each of their matches. The rest of the team was also impressive in the domination of both Williams and Amherst.
The typically reserved Donegan had these words to share after the wins: "Williams is nothing but a bunch of cheaters, and as for Amherst they were just outclassed and had no chance."
The colorful captain, Jesse Nisselson '04, was also stoked after the victories, saying, "It was a huge back-to-back win because both teams expected to beat us. I personally was ecstatic and spent the night playing with my nipples."
Dartmouth improved to an impressive 6-1 after Wednesday's cakewalk.
All of you squash fans out there will have yet another chance to see poetry in motion as both Dartmouth squads will take on Trinity at home, this Saturday at 2:00 p.m. Come to the Berry Center and catch the fever.
