When I look back on my childhood I think of big hair, fluorescent clothing, Madonna and slap bracelets. I remember a fun, happy time when shoulder pads were hip and nobody could touch MC Hammer.
That all changed last Wednesday when I saw the premiere of Fox's new comedy -- or so they call it -- "That '80s Show." The sitcom showcases the hair styles and wacky fashions from the decade but leaves behind the laughs.
Created by the team that brought you "That '70s Show," "That '80s Show" is set in San Diego in 1984 and follows a group of directionless twenty-somethings as they find their way in the decade of Ronald Reagan and "Doogie Howser."
With a cast and plot about as original as its title, the sitcom focuses on Corey (newcomer Glenn Howerton), a wannabe songwriter who works for minimum wage in a tiny music store.
Corey and his perky (and due to extreme overacting, arguably deranged) younger sister Katie (Tinsley Grimes) live with their father, R.T. (Geoff Pierson), a successful businessman.
Corey's friend Roger (Eddie Shin), a fan of President Reagan and motivational self-help tapes, also hangs around the house and fills that familiar sitcom role of the "kooky, bothersome neighbor-friend." With his annoying antics, Roger makes Steve Urkel look like a godsend.
Corey recently broke up with his girlfriend, Sophia (Brittany Daniel), after she announced that she wanted to "explore other relationships." Unknown to Corey, she meant relationships with other women -- more specifically, his sister.
Daniel takes exaggeration to a whole new level with her portrayal of Sophia. The inappropriate enthusiasm with which she spits out her one-liners makes the audience wonder how she ever graduated from "Sweet Valley High."
Corey's boss at the music store is a "summer of love" veteran who emerges with tons of stories about her sexual escapes in the '70s and whose passive sarcasm makes us wish she had never opened her mouth at all.
In the premier episode, Corey is introduced to Tuesday (Chyler Leigh), his new punk-rock, mohawk-sporting coworker.
Their flirtatious "rivalry" makes it clear that the two will get together on an upcoming episode.
Corey also must decide whether to work for his father's marketing company or return to his record store job and continue the life of an "idealistic songwriter" (otherwise known as a slacker).
Meanwhile, Sophia -- sporting ridiculously stereotyped '80s garb -- puts the moves on a surprised Katie.
The concept of "That '80s Show" has potential, but the been-there-done-that plot and the fact that the actors are more like caricatures than real people make this show completely unrealistic and unfunny.
One's time would be much better spent watching videos of the Brat Pack flicks or listening to "The Immaculate Collection" on repeat.
In an attempt to incorporate all the fashion, music and pop culture of the decade, the show manages to neglect any sense of humor or plot.
According to Nielsen ratings, however, "That '80s Show" won its time slot last week with adults 18-49, adults 18-34 and teens, making it the top-rated program of the night in each category.
In tonight's oh-so-exciting second episode, Corey writes a song about his breakup with Sophia and Katie surprises him by getting his song played at a club -- while adding a few ideas of her own.
Will Sophia love the song and realize she's not really bisexual? Will Tuesday confess her love to Corey in a fit of jealous rage? Will Margaret finally smile?
Tune in tonight for another episode of the show that will turn Emeril into a television hero.
Better yet, do yourself a favor and rent "The Breakfast Club" instead.
